Future Proof
by 6Dylan9
Summary: Set in both season 7 and season 4. The slayers find themselves unable to avoid how they feel despite the world's safety resting in their hands.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The sharp blade shimmered under the bedroom light as Willow felt the weight and power of the scythe in her hands. It shone like a beacon, like hope, like their saviour, but it wasn't that yet. It couldn't be that yet. A past event had dipped its hand into the paint pot and had altered the picturesque painting that Willow envisioned - a picture that showed victory and triumph. A picture with distorted faces instead of happy ones. She needed to wipe away those distortions, and there was only one way to do it.

After extensive research and magical channelling under the careful watch of Giles, Willow had found the solution to their problem. The spell they needed to do in order to call every single slayer in the world would be far too dangerous to do without the fix. It would have disastrous effects and create monsters out of slayers. The slayer line was corrupted, and the reason? The body-swap incident between Faith and Buffy.

The fix? Sending Faith back in time in order to stop that event taking place.

It was a lot of pressure on Willow and her powers but it was necessary. As she let the cold steel of the scythe cool her palms Willow felt a surge of confidence. They could do this. They could win.

"I still think it'd be better if I went," Buffy grumbled from the corner of the room as Giles helped prepare Faith for her trip.

"You can't," Willow said decisively. "Meeting yourself from the future would leave too much of an impression on you and the timeline. We can't risk that. It could change too much."

"I'm really trying to understand but it's. . .crazy even for us," Buffy continued.

"Crazy, but possible, and it has to be Faith that goes. Besides, we need you here in case. . .well, in case we need you," Willow explained. "As much as I believe Faith can be all 'leader-girl' again, I think the potentials will feel safer knowing you're not whizzing through time and space and leaving them here."

Buffy nodded solemnly but still didn't understand. The whole thing confused her but she trusted Willow and Giles, and they truly believe they knew what they were doing.

"I'll get in, do the job, and get out," Faith assured as Giles sprinkled something around her feet. "No muss no fuss."

"You hope," Buffy added.

Faith looked at Buffy for longer than Buffy felt entirely comfortable with, but she didn't stand down. She kept her eyes locked on Faith's brown depths, daring Faith to get angry or destroy the small bit of trust she'd developed for her over the past few days. Buffy wanted to trust her, and she hoped Faith was strong enough to live up to it. Maybe she was, as she turned away without rising to Buffy's silent challenge.

"Just stay away from anybody that might recognise you," Willow warned Faith, lighting candles around the room as Kennedy cleared a space at the foot of the bed. "Especially Buffy."

Faith nodded at her but the crease in her brow clearly indicated she wasn't entirely sure of something.

She knew what her task was and she was fairly sure she could do it without screwing things up, but she was stepping back into dodgy territory. Buffy from a few years ago was just as suspicious, untrusting and controlling as Buffy was now. Avoiding her was going to prove difficult.

"So what happens if we do cross paths?" Faith asked.

Time travel wasn't something she was certain was even possible, and Willow had given her guidelines that made about as much sense to her as something that made no sense at all. She was trying to understand, though, eager to prove her worth.

"The whole idea is not to create too much impact on that timeline," Willow replied. "We only change one thing so that everything else plays out the same. If too many things change it'll effect the timeline too much and. . .it won't be good. Anything could happen in that event."

"Are we really willing to take that risk?" Kennedy cut in.

"We have to," Willow responded. "Just don't make too many ripples and once you're gone the timeline will settle back where it should be, and carry on as if nothing really happened."

"Ripples?" Buffy asked.

"It's like throwing a pebble into a pond," Giles said, stepping forward as he cleaned his glasses. "Once you've thrown the pebble – or in this case, sent Faith back in time – it creates ripples. At first the ripples appear large, but over time they dissipate. Once they're gone the pond is still once again."

"The surface remains the same, even though there's a new pebble underneath," Willow added. "The timeline will repair itself as if you were never there, but just that one change will mean we can do what we need to do."

"But if the ripples are too many or too violent it will distort the pond, changing its shape from that point onwards. The plan is to avoid that," Giles stated.

He placed his glasses back onto his nose and watched as the words sunk in to Faith's brain. He had faith in her, but he needed her to have faith in herself.

"I'm sure you can do this, Faith," he told her. "All you need to do is prevent the body-swap from happening by intercepting the package Faith received from the Mayor."

"Yeah, sounds simple enough but. . .I dunno, it's Sunnydale, and if I do screw up. . ."

"You won't," Giles encouraged, laying a gentle hand on Faith's shoulder. "You won't because we're counting on you, Faith. We need the slayer line uncorrupted in order to beat The First."

"Well I guess it's my fault it got that way so…let's do this."

"That's not why we're sending you, Faith," Giles assured.

Faith shrugged but held her tongue. Whatever their reasoning, it was all on her shoulders right now. She had to believe in herself and in their trust. This was her task and there was no margin for error. She needed to stop herself from making a stupid mistake three years in the past. Though it was necessary for her self of that time to run and end up in LA, and then jail, it was imperative that the slayer line remained unsullied by the little trick the Mayor's gadget had caused.

Just what other implications that would bring about she was still unsure of, but Willow had so far remained adamant that none of them would have any memory of a future-Faith turning up in Sunnydale at that time. Once Faith got back to the future their only memories of the event would be new ones about saving the slayer line, and not old ones that had travelled with them from three years prior. She would be able to do her job with no ill effects. . .as long as everything went to plan. As long as she didn't get caught by the Scoobs or Buffy and create too much of a 'ripple'.

"Ok, I'm ready," Faith said, feeling nervous and cracking her knuckles.

"Good luck," Willow said with a small smile before her eyes took on a smoky white color that did little to settle Faith's nerves.

Buffy only nodded from her corner of the room and Faith tried to see the trust in her eyes, hairs standing on end as a glowing portal appeared in the centre of the room. It spat and sparkled and Faith stood tall before stepping into its depths, the image of Buffy's worried face flashing before her eyes as the world around her exploded into blinding, white light.

* * *

"Buffy, this way!"

"I'm right behind you," Buffy replied, pulling out the knife in her pocket.

She realised it wouldn't be much use against Adam but going after him with nothing made her feel far less confident.

"He's killed again," Riley called to her, stopping dead in his tracks as Buffy caught up. "A M'Fashnik demon this time. Totally gutted."

Buffy pulled a face as she peered into the patch of bushes Riley was stood in front of. The demon had been disembowelled and was missing most if his head. It wasn't a pretty sight and she glanced down at her boots only to realise it had also been a very messy kill; the blood stains would be a pain to get out.

"So he's killing anything that gets in his way?" Buffy mused.

"No, I think there's a pattern. A reason," Riley countered. "And if we don't stop him we might be looking at one hell of a body count, and not just demons."

He was right, and Buffy felt her muscles twitching in eagerness to stop that possibility. But Adam was no ordinary foe. They didn't know exactly what they were going up against and the Initiative were being far from helpful; since Maggie Walsh's death and Riley's escape it was impossible to imagine exactly what the Initiative planned to do next. They had a demon on the loose that was unlike any demon she'd had to fight before – part human, demon and machine – and she was still reeling from discovering that Riley wasn't all he seemed to be.

Everything was on a knife edge and Buffy wasn't certain which way to turn. All she knew for sure was that they had to stop Adam, before it was too late. Before he was too strong and knew too much.

"So we keep looking, and we take him down," Buffy stated confidently, though her confidence wavered inside.

"That's the plan," Riley agreed. "We've just gotta figure out why."

He placed his arms around Buffy and pulled her close, causing her head to rest against his chest. He smelled like sweat and gun grease and Buffy felt strangely repulsed.

"We should clean this mess up and see if we can pick up the trail again," she said quickly, subtly pushing herself away from him.

He nodded, seemingly oblivious to her need to stay out of his arms. There was no reason for him to believe anything had changed between them, but it had. She didn't know quite when it had happened or why for sure, her mind coming up with excuses for her, but she felt differently. He wasn't the person she'd thought he was, and now she didn't even know what she wanted.

As he placed a soothing hand on her back when she sighed in frustration, Buffy fought back the urge to tell him not to touch her. It wouldn't be fair on him. He didn't know. He thought they were perfect.

"Let's do this fast," she said, moving away from Riley and grabbing the dead demon's feet in order to drag him further into the bushes.

Things needed to change.

By the time they'd finished it was getting late so Buffy said goodnight to Riley, heading for her dorm before he could ask them to stay together for the night. She didn't much feel like being groped by his big hands. Some space would feel nice for a change. She needed to check in with Giles and the gang anyway, so they knew where Adam had been. Tracking him was proving difficult and the more information they had the better.

Riley had walked her part of the way home, but when she'd insisted he leave her to walk the rest of the way alone he'd thankfully relented without too much fuss. He'd learned not to push her stubborn button too often. She liked him when he was a little more docile, but given the fact he was still dealing with the uber-soldier drugs in his system she doubted he'd stay playing good doggie for long.

As she passed the main campus building Buffy felt a sudden breeze. She looked over her shoulder, pausing in the middle of the path as her eyes scanned every dark corner she could see. Nobody was there and the breeze seemed to have gone just as fast as it had appeared. A shiver ran down Buffy's spine and she held her arms around herself, feeling suddenly aware that she was not as alone as she'd hoped to be, but whatever it was out in the darkness wasn't making any moves so she kept herself on alert and continued on her way. Her building wasn't too much further.

The path diverged ahead of her; one way going towards her building and the other towards the college gym and various other small buildings. For a reason she wasn't yet sure of she paused and turned away from the path leading to her dorm. Something made her want to take the other path. Maybe there was a demon in the shadows she couldn't sense. Maybe it was Adam. Buffy didn't know but she felt compelled to investigate; slayers didn't run from fear, they ran toward it. If there was any chance of catching Adam she had to take it, even if it meant risking her own safety. She'd be careful of course, but she couldn't just ignore the innate pull from deep within her.

A little way down the shadowy path Buffy saw a dark figure practically leap into the foliage. It had been too small for Adam but normal people didn't leap into bushes when approached. Buffy knew that she had to follow and find out exactly who or what it was lurking around out there.

Feeling the weight of the knife bumping against her chest, Buffy pushed open her jacket a little way so she would be able to reach in and grab it quickly if needed. Her senses focused on her surroundings, she slowed her pace, peering into flowerbeds and between trees. A snapping branch to her right made her stop and look that way. More movement made her crouch into a defensive stance and she readied herself for a confrontation.

There was a grunt, then a moan, and then before she could properly react a Fyarl demon came flying at her - sideways. He clearly wasn't in control of his trajectory and Buffy crumbled under his weight as he landed on her.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked under her breath as she shoved him off.

He didn't answer; he was unconscious and that instantly worried Buffy. Adam was picking off different kinds of demons left and right and so far they hadn't found a disembowelled Fyarl demon laying around. She had to get up quickly and be ready for him.

Bouncing to her feet, she watched as the bushes rustled and swayed, then parted to reveal. . .Faith.

"What the?" Buffy mumbled.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but when Buffy finally blinked Faith dashed back into the cover of leaves and darkness, running away without saying a word.

Buffy blew out the breath she had been holding, her fists clenching and unclenching. So Faith was out of her coma? It certainly looked that way but something was off. Something about the way Faith had looked. She certainly didn't look like a girl who had spent eight months lying on her back in a hospital bed.

Shaking her head to regain some kind of control Buffy took off after Faith through the trees and over the grass. Her feet met the ground solidly as she raced after the dark figure of Faith just ahead. She hadn't gotten too far and Buffy was gaining ground on her, able to see the flow of her long hair as she ran as fast as she could. Buffy tried to figure out if her mind was playing tricks on her, going through a checklist in her head to make sure it was really Faith she was chasing.

Faith's clothes seemed as tight as ever – though even less girly than Buffy remembered – and her hair was definitely longer, and wavy. She seemed bigger but more toned, and maybe even slightly taller. Could a coma change you? Had Faith been lying in the hospital bed all this time at all? Buffy had to question that, and briefly her reason for never having gone to see her.

The reasons were beside the point right now, she just needed to catch up with Faith and then. . .she didn't know what then.

"Faith?" Buffy called out, still too far away to tackle her to the ground or reach out and touch her.

Faith didn't answer, ducking around the corner of a building instead, out of view of Buffy. She followed, her lungs burning and chest pounding, and as she reached the corner and rounded it a pair of hands grabbed her and pulled her into the dark alcove of a doorway.

"Quiet, we're being followed," Faith warned Buffy, holding her against the door in the shadows.

Buffy wanted to shout, to scream, to kick out at Faith to get her off her, but she did none of those as Faith's eyes plunged into her own with a clear warning not to move. That's when she heard footsteps approaching, fast and ragged. Buffy peered over Faith's shoulder, her body trembling with the exertion of holding her breath steady and her muscles still. Faith seemed to be trembling in the same way; she could feel it against her as they pressed close in the small space.

A wave of revulsion hit Buffy but other feelings also clambered for attention. She wasn't able to deal with them all at present, too busy wondering what the hell was going on and who was following them. As they remained deathly still in the doorway Buffy saw a man jog across the grass just beyond the path they were close to. He was out of breath, head whipping from side to side as if he were looking for somebody.

It was Riley.

"Why is he. . ." Buffy began before Faith shushed her once again.

"Can't let him see me, B," Faith whispered close to Buffy's ear.

Faith's breath tickled and Buffy did her best to ignore it - and the body now tight against her own - as Riley scratched at his head and peered around not too far from where they were hiding. Why exactly they were hiding she didn't know. She also didn't know how Riley had been so close behind given the fact they'd parted ways outside of college grounds.

"Why are we hiding?" Buffy finally asked as Riley slowly and cautiously began to move away.

"Wasn't supposed to bump into any of you," Faith replied, her voice low, husky and distracted.

Their eyes met again, and despite the fact that Riley was now further away they didn't move apart. For some reason Buffy was trusting Faith. For some reason it didn't feel completely weird. Her mind dug up images of a rooftop, a knife, the look of fear and hurt on Faith's face as she had struck the last blow. It made her sick to her stomach, and reminded her that Faith was dangerous. Dangerous enough to have to kill.

Though right now, Buffy didn't know what to think about that.

"Faith, what's going on?" Buffy asked, unable to think of a better question or come up with any clues herself.

Faith leaned back a little way to check on the whereabouts of Riley, the zip of her small leather jacket scraping against Buffy. This was such a mess. She hadn't meant to cross Buffy's path but she'd been teleported close to the campus, and before she'd been able to make a run for it a demon had attacked. Defending herself and hoping to slay the demon, it had lead her right under Buffy's nose. Total disaster; and now there was a chance Riley had seen her too.

She could feel every breath Buffy took against her and momentarily wondered why she wasn't being flung backwards as Buffy called out to her boyfriend for backup. Surely Buffy shouldn't be so amiable given the facts of their last meeting, in which Buffy had stabbed Faith for the sake of Angel.

It confused Faith, but there was no time to question it now; there were bigger things at stake. She hadn't come from the future in order to deal with the ups and downs of their relationship. She was there to help save the world.

Licking her lips, Faith stood back from Buffy just a little, feeling somewhat better now that Riley was out of earshot. Her palms were sweaty and her mouth dry; she was ill prepared for this encounter. She'd truly believed she could come and do the job without ever even seeing Buffy, but now she had seen her it bought back a wealth of memories one after the other; some good, some not so good. All memories she'd thought she'd dealt with whilst in prison. Obviously some were more powerful than others, however, and she felt her skin tingling and her body buzzing after the brief contact between them.

She hadn't wanted to be challenged in this way. It had been hard enough seeing Buffy again back in her own time but this? This was almost too much. It seemed much more raw than it ought to be. With Buffy's eyes sparkling up at her without those years of hardship and heartache that Buffy from her own time had endured - making her look sad and jaded and far from sparkly – it almost made it too hard to control her thoughts and feelings. This was the Buffy she'd been in love with. This was the Buffy who had broken her heart and trampled her into the ground with dismissiveness.

This was the Buffy that had always triggered anger as well as passion within her.

"Faith?" Buffy prompted, watching as Faith's jaw clenched and her eyes clouded.

Faith seemed on the verge of tears and Buffy didn't know what to do or say. She looked so different, yet she felt completely familiar; almost as if eight months hadn't passed at all. Almost as if they were back in Faith's apartment, standing on a precipice, ready to fall.

Faith opened her mouth to speak but she wasn't sure what to say. She could lie and tell Buffy that she'd just come out of the coma and was planning to leave – meaning she could escape to carry out her plan. But that left things open to dangerous meddling if Buffy decided she wasn't just going to let Faith go about her business. She could try the truth, but would she be believed? Would Buffy understand the implications if she tried to get involved?

Nothing could get in the way of the Faith from this time and her need for revenge. She had to wake and go after Buffy. She had to try the body-swap – with a fake gadget that Faith herself would plant in replacement of the real one. She had to run. All of it had to play out without Buffy doing anything to pervert the timeline. If she told Buffy there was a chance it would all go wrong, but if she didn't tell her. . .she'd have a hard time being able to do what she needed if Buffy was on her tail.

According to Willow, as long as Faith didn't leave too much of an impression then Buffy would forget she was ever there anyway. She had to be careful, but she also had to keep Buffy from screwing everything up.

"This is gonna sound really, really fucked," Faith began, running a hand through her wavy hair as Buffy waited for an explanation, "but I'm from the future."

Buffy blinked and took a step back until she felt the door against her spine again. Her eyes scanned the woman before her, seeing that she was older, seeing that she was different. Her mind tasted the information, the possibility, and did its best to reject it. It was insane, and probably a great way for Faith to get out of paying for what she'd done, but Faith wasn't a thinker. Faith was a fighter and Buffy had always imagined that once she'd fought her way out of her coma she'd come looking for her; she'd come and take revenge on Buffy and her friends. Buffy hadn't expected this at all and she wasn't certain how to react.

"Yeah, I know. It sounds like all kindsa bullshit," Faith said with a nod as she watched various expressions cross Buffy's face. "But I need you to believe me, 'cause I need you not to fuck this up for me."

Opening her mouth to interrupt and refute any such accusation, Buffy soon closed it as Faith suddenly pressed back against her, a finger to her lips. She was about to push Faith away but her sensitive ears picked up the sounds of feet coming their way again.

"I need to be here, B," Faith continued, removing her finger, her voice barely a whisper against Buffy's now tingling ear. "Around three years from now we're saving the world and if I don't get the job done here. . .we're all fucked."

The crude word uttered against her skin made Buffy involuntarily tremble and she mentally kicked herself for her obvious reaction.

"Three years?" Buffy all but squeaked.

"Yeah."

Faith's close proximity was beginning to cloud Buffy's judgment, and she really couldn't deal with that naturally seductive voice being spoken so softly against her for much longer. She didn't want to remember how it felt to want Faith. She didn't want to remember anything but the pain. But if she was to believe what Faith was saying, then surely that changed things. If this wasn't the Faith that was currently lying in a hospital somewhere. . .then how could she hate her still? How could they be saving the world three years down the line if all there was to remember was the pain?

The footsteps finally faded and Faith removed her bodyweight from Buffy, but she didn't go too far.

"I'm going to need proof," Buffy stated.

Once again Faith ran a hand through her hair and Buffy only just realised it was a nervous trait. Why hadn't she noticed that before?

"Guess we'll have to go pay me a visit," Faith responded uneasily.

This was a risk Faith hadn't wanted to take, but Buffy seemed on the verge of either believing her or kicking her ass, and even though she was sure she could take the Buffy of this time easily now. . .she didn't want to fight her.

She hadn't come here to fight.

"If you're lying. . ."

"You'll kill me?" Faith interrupted, knowing Buffy well enough to know where her thoughts would leap.

She looked deep in to Buffy's eyes, holding her still with her gaze, silently questioning whether Buffy could really do that a second time; whether she could plunge a knife into her gut more than once. Buffy didn't seem to have an answer. She just stared back at Faith with a thousand different things flashing through her eyes that Faith tried hard to understand. She caught a few of them; fear, regret, anger. . .desire. The same things as always. The same confusion.

"Let's go," Faith eventually instructed, breaking the heavy silence. "I need you to see for yourself."

"So you can be a hero and save the world?" Buffy asked sarcastically, obviously disbelieving Faith.

Faith narrowed her eyes but deflected Buffy's cheap shot at her. It would be easy to fall into bad habits, but they didn't have time. Everything rested on whether they could put the hurt behind them. They'd done it in the future, and now it was time to test Buffy of the past. It was a huge risk but Faith had no choice but to take it.

"No, so _we_ can save the world."

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Trying to stick to the shadows and hoping Riley didn't suddenly leap out of a bush with lumps of camouflage hanging off him, Faith led Buffy towards the hospital. The last thing she needed was some kid of a soldier with bits of twig in his hair making life difficult. It was bad enough that she'd stumbled right into Buffy; it was imperative that she stayed away from everybody else.

So far on the way she'd managed to tell Buffy how she got there and how things worked – kind of. Only able to explain the parts she understood herself, Faith just hoped that Buffy would accept her explanation. So far it seemed like she was, but Buffy still needed to see for herself that the Faith of her own time was still safely tucked up in a hospital bed.

"So am I gonna remember this when you go back to your time?" Buffy asked.

"You or my Buffy?" Faith asked, fighting back a blush when Buffy raised her eyebrow. "Wait, I didn't mean you're mine I just. . .yunno, from my time."

"I get it," Buffy said with a smirk.

She'd never seen Faith flustered at all and it was kind of cute. Very in fact. Hell, she didn't even mind admitting it to herself; this Faith just seemed to make admitting it easier. Buffy wasn't sure why that was, but her life had never been simple. Unusualness and complications were normal to her.

"You should forget it, then the timeline goes back to normal," Faith answered, feeling unusually nervous around Buffy. "Not sure what happens if you remember, though I'm guessing you'll just kinda have both memories, but one'll be a lot stronger than the other. Like your original memory has a shadow that looks a little different."

"Wow, Faith," Buffy said, impressed. "That's almost poetic."

"Hey, I'm just passing on info I got from Will."

Buffy smiled and nodded at Faith, happy that Willow was ahead in time somewhere, safe and. . .apparently extremely powerful.

"How is she?" Buffy asked, glancing over at Faith as they made slow progress to the far end of campus grounds.

"Pretty sure I can't tell you stuff about the future, B," Faith pointed out. "That'd probably mean you won't forget this, and it'll screw us all."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Buffy said with a smile, sliding her hands into her denim jacket as she found herself walking closer to Faith than was probably necessary. "Can't say I'm not tempted to ask you more, though."

"Don't blame ya," Faith acknowledged. "I'd be doing the same; wanting to ask if I was still as hot and stuff."

Buffy chuckled and rolled her eyes at Faith. Clearly she was still hot.

"So," Buffy began, glancing sideways at the other girl, unable to help herself asking the question now that Faith had put it in her head, "am I just as cute three years from now?"

Faith's eyebrows shot into her hairline as Buffy smiled her way. No way did she just ask that. No way could Faith answer it without being completely honest. She knew she shouldn't answer at all, but then. . .what harm could that little question really do?

With a grin Faith laughed at Buffy and stopped walking, taking a good look at Buffy and grinning at the faint blush her perusal caused. Allowing her eyes to travel the full length of Buffy's body she leered in approval.

"Oh yeah, just as cute," Faith replied, dropping her voice so it was even lower and huskier than normal – indulging herself a little in old habits. "Hell, three years from now you're even cuter. Hot in fact."

Buffy blushed and looked away from Faith's eyes, finding her shoes fascinating as she tried to feel flattered and not embarrassed. Faith had always been quick to make sexual innuendos and do her best to make Buffy feel uncomfortable, but she'd never been sure if it was all just a joke. Buffy still didn't know if Faith meant it for real, but for once she accepted that she wanted it to be for real. She wanted Faith to find her attractive, in the non-straight sense. In a way that meant it was ok to think of Faith in the same way.

The small revelation made Buffy feel light-headed, but she tried to hide it. She didn't want Faith feeling all smug, though she doubted there was really any point trying to conceal whatever attraction towards her she had. This Faith would probably see through any façade Buffy threw up anyway.

"Well you definitely improved with age too. You're like. . .uber-hot now," Buffy said shyly, looking away quickly and starting to walk once again towards the far gate before Faith could say anything back.

Faith let Buffy walk ahead just a little as she absorbed what she'd just said. Buffy had actually complimented her. There had been no sarcasm or nasty undertone; it had just been a straight-forward compliment. It made Faith smile. She knew it shouldn't have, or that it was silly to feel even remotely happy that Buffy had said anything, but she couldn't help herself. She'd always sought out acceptance from Buffy; acceptance and interest.

Giving her head a shake as she wondered about what Buffy's compliment actually meant, Faith caught up with her, deciding against pushing the subject. She didn't want to cause any tension between them as they were doing well at avoiding it so far; though Buffy was clearly still somewhat on edge at least they weren't fighting. Things were going pretty smoothly and Faith didn't want to say anything to mess that up. She'd just file away Buffy's comment somewhere in her mind to take out and smile at later, or whenever she needed to feel closer to Buffy, and closer to what she'd always wanted with her.

As they approached the far rim of the campus grounds they arrived at a large scorch mark in the grass. It's where Faith had emerged once Willow had done her witch-y thing.

Buffy looked at Faith and then the burned grass, raising her eyebrow.

"That was you I'm guessing," Buffy said, pointing at the ground before them.

"Yup," Faith said with a nod. "My bag should be around here too. Had to throw it when that damn demon came at me."

"Bag?" Buffy questioned, walking onto the charred grass and listening to how it crackled under her feet. "How were you able to bring a bag? In fact, why didn't you get here all. . .yunno, naked?"

She turned to Faith and instantly imagined her naked, which made her blush and quickly turn away again.

Faith saw the blush and the way Buffy had practically leered at her, but chose not to mention it. She stored it away with all the other little clues in her head.

"You're thinking of The Terminator, B," Faith pointed out. "Do I look like Arnold to you?"

Buffy looked at Faith again; taking in the slender hips, the boobs that were just right, the legs that looked strong and firm. Despite the fact Faith had kind of a butch edge to her she was definitely no Arnold look-alike. Buffy shook her head no and smiled. She didn't trust herself not to say something really obvious right now, so it was best if she just showed her appreciation through her eyes.

With a small chuckle Faith moved towards a thick bush, reaching in and pulling out a duffle bag. She threw it over her shoulder and gave Buffy a nod to follow her to the gate. The more time they spent wandering around outside the more chance there was of other people seeing Faith, and she needed to avoid any more mistakes.

"You seem kinda unfazed about the whole time travel thing," Faith commented as they continued.

"Oh, I'm fazed," Buffy reassured. "But when you live on a Hellmouth and slay demons for a living the other weird stuff ends up seeming just as normal."

They both smiled in agreement and Buffy decided she really liked seeing Faith smile. It wasn't as sardonic a smile as the Faith she knew, or as bordering on the verge of a grin. It was natural and beautiful.

Buffy tried not to stare too long, and gave herself a mental note to stop being so blatant. She didn't know what had gotten into her. She wasn't even single so really shouldn't have been seeing these new things about Faith that she'd missed before, let alone looking for them.

"Come on, cutie," Faith prompted, giving Buffy a wink she knew would make her do that adorable little flirty smile she liked. "Don't wanna get caught out in the open by anybody else."

Buffy did indeed smile but then looked away as if she'd been caught out - which she had. This trip was so far much more eventful and surprising than Faith had planned for. Not that she could really have planned anything, not knowing exactly how things would pan out. This time travel stuff was out of her realm of understanding, and though she was trying to keep a low profile it had so far proved completely unsuccessful.

There was no point in beating herself up about it. Some things were just out of her control.

After walking a while side by side it wasn't long before they were heading down the quiet corridor that led to Faith's room. She could remember exactly where it was, and as they drew closer they chatted less and less. It started to feel somewhat awkward knowing that the Faith of this time was currently lying in a coma in one of the dark rooms, having been put there by Buffy.

It felt like the corridor went on forever, getting darker and emptier as they moved along it. Clearly not many visitors came down here and Buffy shuddered at a sudden gust of cold air from a high window. She felt so guilty and wondered how Faith could stand walking beside her after she'd driven a knife into her gut. If Faith had done the same to her, Buffy doubted she'd feel as safe in her company. She'd be far more cautious, cruel and bitchy. Faith hadn't said anything about being stabbed; she hadn't said anything mean or acted as if she hated her. There seemed to be no underlying animosity for her and Buffy couldn't quite understand it.

Whatever had happened after Faith had woken from her coma then ran to LA, her time in prison and then taking a chance to go and help Buffy, had obviously changed her. She wasn't the girl Buffy knew – reckless, full of anger and bitterness - she was a woman and not a girl. A woman Buffy could finally identify with and not instantly feel anxious around. Of course she still felt a little nervous around Faith for reasons she'd always tried to deny, but she felt much more comfortable with this Faith. She felt like they could be friends, and maybe, just maybe more than that.

The idea certainly didn't terrify Buffy in the way it always had. It felt ok to like Faith. This Faith.

"I think this is it," Faith said as they reached some of the last rooms ahead of them.

She stopped outside one of them, turning to Buffy and waiting for her to open the door. Faith really wasn't keen on seeing herself lying there, hooked up to machines, pale and immobile. She knew she was meant to make sure her past self still occupied the bed – in case an anomaly in the timeline had caused her to rise early – but she was still anxious about it. As much as she'd tried to put the past behind her it was still there inside; every pain, every shame and every memory haunting her. Some days it was easier than others to suppress but she would never be free of her mistakes and the hurt they had caused her.

"After you," Faith said as Buffy hesitated.

"Wait," Buffy said as she stalled, grasping the door handle, "what happens if you meet yourself from another time? Isn't that supposed to be bad? I mean, won't the world implode or something?"

Faith gave Buffy a puzzled look.

"Pretty sure you're thinking of a movie again, or something else. Willow said it would be fine, 'sides. . .I have to check I'm still in there."

Buffy nodded slowly and pushed at the door. She held her breath, unsure about what she was going to see. In the eight months that Faith had been in the hospital Buffy hadn't visited. In eight months she'd avoided thinking about Faith. She'd even avoided walking past the hospital at all. Her heart felt like it was going too fast, her clothes suddenly felt too heavy and her head was too warm. Almost stumbling over the threshold of the door, Buffy wanted to turn and run. Run from what she'd done.

But she couldn't run, and as she stepped forward to see the Faith she knew lying slightly propped up in the bed before her. . .Buffy took a shaky breath and lifted a hand to her mouth. She felt sick. Faith was so pale and looked so fragile.

A soft hand on Buffy's lower back encouraged her further forward, and reminded her of who she was with and why. Again she wondered how Faith could stand to be anywhere near her. How could she have forgiven her for this?

"I'm sorry," Buffy mumbled as they approached the bed.

"I know," were Faith's only words.

She lowered her hand from Buffy's back, looked around at the stark room, then down to the machines her past self was attached to. Feeling strangely detached and less unnerved at actually seeing herself lying there, Faith moved closer to pull the blanket up a little way. At Buffy's slightly puzzled look Faith shrugged.

"I looked cold," she said.

They gazed at each other sadly and Faith tried to think of something to say. But there was nothing. Like the room had sucked out all their energy, both girls just stood and stared; at each other, at the floor, at the lifeless form of the girl in the bed.

After what seemed like a small eternity they both spoke, talking over each other.

"We should probably go," Faith said.

"I should have come sooner," Buffy said at the same time.

There were a hundred different ways Faith could respond to that, but she wasn't there to start a fight. She wasn't there to drag up old arguments or re-open old wounds. This was about healing one of those wounds, not about creating more.

"You did what you had to," Faith said, not elaborating on whether she was talking about Buffy visiting her, or Buffy stabbing her in the first place.

Buffy didn't question her and Faith felt confident that they could keep things from blowing up as long as they both agreed not to push. There was no need to make this any more difficult than it had to be.

"So now you've seen me. . .or yunno, her," Faith began, pointing her thumb towards the bed, "how about we get outta here? That time travelling thing made me all kindsa hungry."

With a sad smile Buffy turned her eyes away from the ashen, exanimate version of Faith in bed, to the much more conscious and vibrant version currently striding back towards the open door. She seemed like she was in a hurry to leave and Buffy couldn't blame her. She doubted she'd want to hang around a past version of herself looking all washed out and pitiful for long either.

"Everything makes you hungry, Faith," Buffy jibed, following Faith to the door.

She gave one last look towards the bed, her heart feeling heavy as she watched Faith's chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Faith's eyes were closed but there was movement there. There was hurt etched into her features and Buffy felt such an overwhelming pang of guilt she didn't know what to do with it. It sat in the pit of her stomach, reminding her of how close she could come to tipping over the edge herself. Neither of them were infallible or perfect, and they were much more alike than Buffy had ever cared to admit before.

"I'll get you a burger – my treat," Buffy said to the version of Faith she know knew for sure came from three years in the future.

After closing the door behind her they made their way back down the corridor, surprisingly free of any lingering awkwardness.

"Make it two burgers and some fries and I'll totally overlook your no visiting policy," Faith said with a wink.

It was joke but Buffy still felt bad. There was no excuse for not even checking on Faith once since graduation. It wasn't as if it had always been bad between them after all, but it had been easier just to pretend that Faith didn't exist any longer. Easier at the time anyway.

"It's a deal," Buffy said sadly, "but I am sorry - for not coming. . ."

Faith stopped and turned to Buffy, placing a hand on her shoulder and dipping her head so Buffy had no choice but to look into her eyes. She didn't want Buffy being like this. Not only did it just seem totally wrong, but she knew it would also just make things that much harder for the girl when it came to her having to fight with coma-Faith when she woke up.

"B, you have to stop doing that," Faith implored.

"But I feel so bad about. . ."

"We both feel bad about stuff," Faith interrupted, not wanting to wallow with Buffy in their mistakes. "Let's just get something to eat, find me a place to stay and figure out how the hell to put at least one of those things right. Then I can get back home where you treat me like you should and I don't have to. . ."

Buffy waited expectantly for Faith to finish, but Faith couldn't finish; she had been about to blurt out that she wouldn't have to feel everything she'd ever felt for Buffy all over again. It was better if Buffy didn't hear that; it would just complicate things even more, and Faith could tell that things were already getting complicated enough. She couldn't mistake Buffy's flirty smiles and shy glances for anything but attraction this time. Pretending she could ignore that fact and just get on with the job was the best way to go.

"You don't have to what?" Buffy finally asked when it became obvious Faith wasn't going to continue.

Faith just shrugged and set off walking again, her duffle bag held over her shoulder and her other hand in her pocket. There was no way they could have That conversation. The conversation that definitely came with capitalization.

"Ok, I get the hint," Buffy muttered as they left the building by a side entrance, keeping away from any possible crowds. "For now."

With a chuckle at Buffy's stubbornness Faith shook her head. Some things never changed.

Before long they'd picked up food and were walking towards the room Faith had just rented – at a much better class of motel than she'd previously afforded. The place was on the better side of town and away from anywhere the Faith currently still bedridden would visit. It had been a good choice, and Faith had Buffy to thank for pointing it out. She'd never looked beyond what she could just about afford last time so hadn't known the place even existed. That meant that she had never known it was there all along so it was a perfect place to hide out. She wouldn't be bumping into herself – as long as she kept her wits about her.

Faith swung the door open and threw her bag down onto a large chair that sat at one end of the room. The place was typical of most motels but it looked pretty clean. The bed was neatly made and she could see that the bathroom looked decent with just a glance towards the open door. It was better than most places she'd stayed.

"You gonna stay and eat?" Faith asked, hoping Buffy would.

"Thanks," Buffy replied with an easy smile and a nod.

She placed the bags of food down on a small table in front of the bed and proceeded to empty them. Burgers and fries were not her usual idea of a good snack so late but she was hungry and Faith's enthusiasm for food was infectious. In fact everything about her was pretty infectious, or maybe addictive. Buffy had always tried not to get addicted to Faith and how she could make her feel – alive, different, and sexy – but avoiding it had only made things worse. It had only managed to push them over the edge to become enemies.

Letting go a little felt like it would be nice; Buffy was tired of holding it all inside where Faith was concerned.

"Damn that smells good," Faith said as Buffy unwrapped the burgers and fries.

Buffy set everything out nicely and Faith wasn't sure quite what was going on between them. They weren't fighting, which was strange. Buffy hadn't hit her in the head yet either, and that was definitely strange, and new. Watching Buffy place Faith's food at one side of the table nearest the chair, Faith could almost forget all the bad things that had happened between them. Almost but not completely. Still, it felt nice, just for a while.

"I really hope you don't eat this kind of stuff all the time, Faith," Buffy commented as Faith moved her bag to the floor so she could sit down. "It's really not good for you."

Faith chuckled and grabbed her overly greasy burger, taking a big bite and talking despite her full mouth.

"Does it look like it's been bad for me?" Faith asked before chewing and swallowing.

She used the hand not currently clasped around her burger to point out her fine physique with a sweeping gesture. Buffy's eyes followed, looking over Faith and not seeing any trace of poor eating habits.

"No," Buffy replied, "you really do look good. Not that you didn't always," she added in a rush. "But now you're. . ."

Buffy stuttered over her words and looked away, unable to finish without sounding completely smitten and possibly retarded. She'd been doing a lot of blushing, looking away and feeling silly tonight, all because of Faith. Granted, Faith had always managed to instil a sense of unease in her that had more to do with the girl's looks and charm than her supposed evilness, but this was getting way out of control. She had to at least try to keep from looking too much of a fool.

"You don't have to stop there," Faith prompted, knowing she should just drop it but unable to help herself.

Her grin made Buffy's eyes linger at her lips and Faith licked them slowly for good measure. She had no idea why Buffy was being so open and obvious, and she wasn't about to question it. It had been a long time since they'd been able to flirt and be comfortable with each other – well, relatively comfortable anyway.

"I probably _should_ stop there," Buffy responded softly, munching on her fries as she tried not to stare too much at Faith.

She was kneeling on the floor in front of the table, looking up at Faith, and as every second ticked by Buffy realised she wanted Faith that little bit more. Had it always been like that with her? She wasn't certain; she'd been so good at suppressing it before, but this wasn't going to be so easily quashed. She liked Faith. She was attracted to her. The wanting her came right along with admitting to that.

Neither of them were now paying their food much attention as they locked eyes, looking deep into each other in a way they'd always shied away from before. Faith felt like all her senses were suddenly honed right to Buffy; all that existed right then in that room was Buffy. The way she looked, the way she smelled, the way she sounded as she spoke.

"I'm getting a little confused," Buffy said quietly, leaving her food for now as Faith listened attentively, also seemingly too distracted to eat. "No, not confused," she corrected, "more like. . .as if. . ."

She couldn't think of the words. There was no way to describe how she was suddenly feeling. But then it wasn't really so sudden; Faith had always done this to her. Faith had always been difficult to be around for many reasons.

"Tell me, Buffy," Faith urged gently.

This was dangerous territory but Faith wanted to hear what Buffy had to say. In some ways she needed to hear it. Buffy was open to her right now; without falsity, without defences, without years of bitterness keeping them from letting each other in. Maybe it was the spell that had sent her through time, messing with Faith's internal workings and her natural state of self-preservation. . .but she couldn't keep her eyes off this Buffy. She couldn't keep her heart from feeling what it had felt for her before everything had turned sour.

"Are you feeling this?" Buffy asked, stammering slightly as Faith's brown eyes made her dizzy with their burning intensity. "I mean this. . .easiness."

Faith smiled at Buffy's adorable nervousness and nodded.

"I feel it," she replied.

Buffy smiled and Faith couldn't help but smile right back at her. Whatever it was it was a good thing, for once.

They couldn't stop gazing at each other and Faith had the urge to shove the table aside and pull Buffy into her arms. Her lips were begging her to kiss Buffy. She wanted to lift her up and throw her onto the bed so she could know every part of Buffy. Every fantasy she'd ever had about her would pale in comparison to the real thing. Every touch and every taste would be amazing.

But she couldn't leap at Buffy. She couldn't take what she wanted to take. Not now. It didn't seem that Buffy had the same idea, however. She looked ready to pounce too, and something told Faith that Buffy wouldn't hold back.

"It feels different with you," Buffy continued as Faith took a cooling slurp on her coke. "Maybe not different exactly, but. . .harder to ignore."

Raising an eyebrow, Faith let the words sink in. So Buffy had always had more than just friendly thoughts about her? That seemed to be what Buffy was getting at. Unfortunately this was the wrong time and wrong place to be getting into it at all. Faith didn't know quite what to say. Here Buffy was being honest with her for once, and she couldn't do or say what she really wanted to back. She had to tread carefully.

"Buffy. . ." Faith began, pausing to run a hand through her hair and fight back every natural urge in her body, "I gotta stay focused."

It was the best she could come up with - a feeble excuse that made Buffy look down at her forgotten food, shoulders dropping.

"I'm sorry I said anything," Buffy said quietly.

She felt silly for bringing it up. Silly for feeling what she was after fighting it for so long. The timing was terrible, but it wasn't exactly her fault; the Faith she was sat with right now had her mind in a spin. She wasn't as easy to dismiss and neither was the spark of desire within Buffy that she'd reignited.

"Don't be sorry just. . ." Faith sighed, rubbing at her brow and trying not to say anything that would make things awkward. She wasn't even certain what Buffy was talking about – it could have been all in her own head like she'd come to think it was in the past. "What exactly are you saying, Buffy?" she asked, instantly realising she should have left it alone.

The question was out there now – no taking it back.

Buffy once again looked up at Faith from her position at the other side of the small table. She felt her mouth go dry and her heart started thudding loudly in her chest. It was thudding so hard she just knew Faith would hear it.

"I'm not even sure," Buffy admitted. "I guess I've always liked you. . .in the way I'm only supposed to be liking my boyfriend right now," she reminded herself, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry."

She put her head in her hands and felt thoroughly awful. She hadn't meant to allow these feelings through. Up until now Buffy had always managed to keep herself in line, focused, controlled, but it seemed completely impossible to do any of those right now.

"Seriously, B, you have to stop telling me you're sorry," Faith stated firmly. Though she was totally bowled over at Buffy's little confession she couldn't just sit there and listen to Buffy beat herself up any longer. "If you don't stop I'm gonna think Will screwed up and sent me to a whole other dimension let alone time."

Buffy looked up at that.

"You're not in another dimension, I'm just kinda freaking out over here that's all," she told Faith, getting to her feet so she could walk out some of the tension. "I'm not supposed to be feeling this, not after everything you did, and everything I did to you. You're not supposed to just walk back into my life looking three years older and three years hotter. I can't stop looking at you. I can't stop myself from wanting you."

Faith watched as Buffy paced, and listened as she rambled and raved. Every muscle in her body was telling her to grab Buffy and kiss her hard. She also got to her feet, moving closer to Buffy in the small room. Buffy's hands were covering her face again and she was clearly wishing she could make it all go away. There was no making it go away once you accepted the inevitable, however. Faith knew that all too well.

She took Buffy's wrists in her hands and made Buffy uncover her face.

"This isn't easy for me either," Faith reminded. "You don't even remember most of the crap I did 'cause it hasn't happened to you yet, but I do. Even after all of that, and after some pretty shitty things you've said to me. . .I still can't help wishing we could just. . ."

"Be together?" Buffy asked gently when Faith failed to continue.

Faith sighed, dropping Buffy's hands and turning away from her so she could try to collect her thoughts and feelings. Her emotions were all over the place and she was having a hard time understanding why she couldn't just push it all down like she'd been able to do so many times in the past. Maybe it was the fact she'd just jumped from being with Buffy three years down the line where their relationship was difficult at best, to being with her at a time before she'd done the worst to her and turned Buffy into her victim. Maybe that's why it was so hard to keep control of her feelings. Maybe time travel really was better left alone.

"I don't even know anymore, B," Faith said, her hushed voice making Buffy hold her breath. "For the longest time I knew exactly what I wanted from you, but I knew I'd never get it. Now you're totally confusing me and I don't even know what to think."

Moving towards Faith slowly, Buffy reached out, wanting to touch Faith, wanting to rest her hand on her shoulder or wrap her arms around her from behind. She'd never been in a position with Faith in their relationship before where she felt she could do that. It felt more possible right now – though Buffy was still unsure why – but she didn't reach that little bit further. Dropping her hand back to her side Buffy carefully chose what she should say next.

She had to be honest, but she knew how difficult this situation was. Buffy hadn't seen or spoken to Faith in eight months. She'd avoided even thinking about her. And now here she was, large as life and with years more experience and a calmness to her that made Buffy think about the future. Not the future that this Faith had just come from, but her own future.

Ok, so they were the same two futures in essence, but to Buffy it felt like anything was possible right now and she liked that feeling. She liked the feeling of hope inside her where Faith was concerned. She could see forwards for a change, with open eyes, knowing and accepting what had been there all along.

"I think we both want the same thing, Faith," Buffy said, her voice shaking as she tasted the truth of the words for the first time.

She watched Faith's back as Faith breathed steadily and slowly, her body showing no sign of tension, though Buffy knew there was definitely tension. There always had been.

"I can't let this chance slip away from me," Buffy continued. "In a few days you're gonna wake up, and that Faith is going to hate me and want to hurt me, and three years from now. . .I'm apparently a complete bitch to you. So right now, while I have the chance I need to tell you. . ."

"Buffy," Faith interrupted, her voice unsteady as she turned to face the other girl, "don't. This is the wrong place, and the wrong time. Literally."

Buffy opened her mouth to continue – every fibre of her being urging her to tell Faith the truth for once – but she held her tongue. Faith's eyes were practically pleading with her not to speak, not to throw open wide this big can of worms. It was open enough already.

"I just wish. . .I wish we'd. . ."

"I know," Faith said sadly.

They both wished they'd gotten it right the first time around. That they could lay down their defences and walls, and self righteousness long enough to get each other, and to have each other in the way they should have from the start. It was all too messy now. Too difficult.

The gap between them suddenly felt far too wide and Buffy wanted desperately to move closer. Her whole body needed to be near to Faith, but she had to remember how to quash that feeling. She didn't want to upset Faith more, and clearly Faith was already upset. Whatever had happened between them - that Buffy hadn't yet experienced - had obviously left a deep mark on Faith.

"Maybe I should go," Buffy suggested. "I don't want this to turn into an awkward argument."

"Yeah, it's probably best, B," Faith agreed. "I need to focus on what I have to do here. As much as I wanna just enjoy this," she said, indicating them both, "I can't get distracted."

"So we'll just have to ignore whatever this is," Buffy stated, trying to sound convincing. "Well I've done it before so. . ."

But this wasn't before, this was now, and this Faith wasn't the old Faith. It sounded simple, easy, possible. . .but they both knew it was going to be none of those things.

Just like always, they were going to be slaves to the way they felt about each other and it was going to have them twisting and struggling, and waiting for when it was the right time to act.

Faith opened the door for Buffy and they tried to avoid looking too long in each other's eyes. It would only take one look for them to throw caution to the wind.

"I'll keep you in the loop," Faith told Buffy. "Once she – I – wake up I'll tell you."

"Thank you," Buffy said, subdued and sad that in a day or two she'd be fighting with Faith again once she came out of her coma. "If you need my help at all. . .I'm here for you."

With a tentative gesture, Buffy gave Faith's arm a squeeze, doing her best not to linger too long with the touch.

"That means a lot to me, B," Faith admitted, finally looking into Buffy's eyes and trying her best not to notice the unshed tears in them.

They both took deep breaths, finding it hard to turn away. Buffy wanted nothing more than to stay, and Faith wanted nothing more than to ask her to stay. But they couldn't. The risks were too high, and the feelings too strong.

They couldn't toy with fate and their fate was set. This was one thing Faith definitely couldn't change.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Faith had managed to keep a low profile in every other aspect of the mission. Her only screw up had been bumping into Buffy, but they'd stayed apart while Faith had planned her move to intercept the Mayor's little gift that would facilitate the body-swap. She'd wanted desperately to see Buffy again, but she knew it was better if they avoided each other. They'd come too close to impacting the timeline – almost acting on what they'd always felt for each other – and neither of them fully understood the risks.

Despite what they both obviously wanted, it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. Buffy had to go about her normal, everyday life – waiting for the Faith of her own time to wake up so they could fight, causing Faith to run to LA, and everything else to go on as before minus the swap. And Faith had to avoid making any more mistakes. They couldn't afford this to go wrong. If she didn't stop them swapping bodies, the spell Willow needed to do to call every slayer in the world wouldn't work. The First would win.

She had to remain focused.

It was easier said than done, and Faith's mind kept wandering, thinking about what Buffy had said to her after they bumped into each other. She also thought about the Buffy of her own time, realising that in essence they were the same person, though the Buffy of her time was so closed off she was impossible to read now. But now that Faith knew for sure that Buffy had indeed wanted them to be closer in the past, wanted more from their relationship. . .it explained a lot. It explained why Buffy was so scared to trust Faith, or to open up.

The headache the whole situation gave Faith stayed with her the few days she'd kept out of sight. She hadn't thought this hard or this much in longer than she could remember. It wasn't fun.

Buffy had always made her insane for one reason or another, and trying to cope with the idea of two of them from different times was almost too much. She found it much more difficult than she'd imagined she would. Willow owed her a lifetime of free pizza for this.

"Ok, Slayer," Faith said to herself. "Time to make your move."

She shrugged her shoulders, easing some of the tension in them as they loosened. This was her chance to shine, but if she messed up now she wasn't sure how she'd be able to fix things. She couldn't get this wrong.

After spending a few days watching the Mayor's old house, his office, and his old friends and workers, she'd figured out just where the implement was that would cause the body-swap. He'd kept it safe with his head vampire Lucian, she was certain. She'd watched the vampire take the box from a lockup downtown. It had taken all her focus not to just leap out at him right then to grab it, but she had to switch it for a fake, not destroy it or make Lucian suspicious. He still had to deliver it to Faith after she emerged from the coma.

Lucian had taken it to his crypt – not exactly the safest place he could keep it, but vampires weren't exactly the smartest creatures. For whatever reason, he'd removed it from the lockup early, giving Faith the opportunity to switch it before the night Faith awoke from the coma. Things seemed to be falling in to place nicely and Faith felt proud of herself for not screwing up totally.

All she had to do now was wait until Lucian left his crypt for the night, sneak in and switch the devices, then let everything play out as it should have. Once she was sure that things were unfolding the right way again, she would smash the orb that Willow had given her before she left. It would take her back to her own time, as long as nothing happened before she had a chance to do it.

She had faith that things would go to plan. That the Buffy of this time would let things happen the way they should, and when the device failed to swap them, Faith could get back to the future, unscathed.

The details still made Faith's head throb, but she trusted Willow and her confidence was high.

Once Lucian had been gone from his crypt long enough, Faith snuck inside. She made sure no other vampires were in there, then searched for the gift the Mayor had left her. It didn't take long and she pulled the box out from behind a coffin, holding it delicately in her hand as a plethora of memories bombarded her. This thing had caused so much hurt, so much trouble. If she had never used it they wouldn't be in this situation. If she had never used it, she imagined things wouldn't have gotten quite so beyond repair between her and Buffy.

Now was the time to change that, though it would never completely change of course. As Willow had explained, they'd still all remember the incident – swapping bodies – and everything that happened afterwards, but the new memories would be fused with them, a little brighter than the original timeline. Both memories would co-exist, still leaving the hurt, but also – Faith hoped – giving them something not quite so horrible to recall. If she could have safely wiped out the memory of swapping with Buffy, and all the things she'd done in Buffy's body to hurt Buffy, she would have done it in a heartbeat. But she couldn't do that, and Buffy would still have to know the horrible things Faith had done.

She pulled out the device, turning it around in her fingers. It seemed so fragile, but it had been so destructive. Putting it in her pocket, Faith put the fake in its place in the box. They looked identical. Nobody would guess.

Taking a deep breath, Faith left the crypt, her heart pounding and her muscles so tense she thought they were in danger of snapping. She hoped nothing would go wrong now.

"Well, you're a fine specimen of. . .hmmm, you're not what you appear to be are you?" A gruff voice came from behind Faith as she left the crypt and turned down a dark path in the cemetery.

She felt her spine tingling and her body tensed even more. Spinning, Faith came face to face with one of the weirdest looking demons she'd ever seen. He was huge, and ugly, and had pieces of metal embedded in his skin. She didn't know a lot about what had been happening in the past at that time – too busy thinking about giving Buffy a little payback - but she was guessing this was Adam.

"Great," she mumbled to herself.

She couldn't risk fighting with him; this could make things very, very difficult indeed. Adam had been an important piece of the past, and she couldn't interfere.

Faith turned to run, hoping she could lose him without anything too bad happening, but he was quicker than he looked. One of his big hands swiped at her, catching her across her lower back. He must have had claws, or something, as she felt her skin open and instantly start to bleed.

The cry that ripped from her lungs was purely instinctual. It hadn't actually hurt that much, but her frustration at being caught added to the shock made her more vocal than was wise.

"Get the fuck off me," she snapped, twisting out of Adam's grip as he knocked her to the floor.

"But you're an interesting specimen, I can't possibly let you go," he insisted, eerily calmly.

Faith used all her strength to push away from him, scrabbling on the floor as he got his meaty fingers around her leg. She was beginning to get pissed off. Punching him in the chest she realised she was no match for him alone; she had to break free and run as fast as she could.

Wriggling, like the way she used to do as a kid when the older boys would tease her and hold her down, Faith made it impossible for him to keep his grip. He was getting angry too, and she knew enough stories to be a bit afraid of this guy. Even Buffy hadn't been able to take him on alone.

"Ok, enough," she yelled, gritting her teeth.

With all her might she used both legs to kick out at him, pushing him off. As he stumbled back a little way she was able to regain her footing, standing and making a dash for it. To her surprise, she practically bumped right into Buffy just a short way down the path.

"Whoa!" they both gasped in shock.

"I heard you yell," Buffy said, clearly out of breath. "I was at the other side of the cemetery; what's wrong?"

The worry was clear in her eyes, and her hands were clutching at Faith, surreptitiously looking for injuries. She pulled one away to find it covered in blood.

"It's ok," Faith assured before Buffy could freak out, which it definitely looked like she was about to do. "Just a flesh wound, but we need to run."

"From what?" Buffy asked. Just then, Adam came blustering through the undergrowth, a scowl on his mishmash of a face.

"Come on!" Faith exclaimed, grabbing Buffy's arm.

"Wait, Faith," Buffy stalled. "We could probably take him together." Buffy's eyes were full of hope, her head nodding enthusiastically. "He's been terrorising Sunnydale, and we can stop him right now."

"No, we can't," Faith said, pulling on Buffy's arm as she tried to get her to run. Adam was getting too close for comfort. "I can't screw with stuff like that; it'll fuck things up in the future."

Buffy's mouth opened and closed as she looked from Adam to Faith. She wanted so badly to end Adam, right then and there. . .but Faith was right. For once, Faith was being the smart one.

"Ok, let's run," she agreed.

They didn't waste any more time talking about it, getting the hell out of there so quickly Adam had no chance of catching them. When they were sure Adam was no longer following they ducked out of the cemetery and headed, without discussion, towards Faith's motel.

Keeping aware and glancing left and right before entering, both slayers clambered into the motel room and took a moment to catch their breaths. Faith was still a little surprised that Buffy hadn't challenged her more on the issue of Adam, but she was thankful that Buffy had listened for once and given up her need to be the one in control.

"That was a close one," Faith gasped, still feeling the sting at her back and checking it out with her hand as Buffy closed the blinds at the window.

Sure enough, she was still bleeding.

"Let me take a look," Buffy said, moving towards Faith, flicking on a small lamp as she passed it.

"It'll be ok by morning," Faith insisted.

Adrenaline was still coursing through Faith's veins and she didn't know if she could take Buffy being so close to her; not now that she knew for sure that Buffy was physically interested in her.

Buffy shook her head and moved behind Faith anyway, sensing the tension coming from Faith – of the sexual variety. It was difficult not to feel it, and she couldn't help but want to react. Her fingers shook a little as she helped pull Faith's jacket off. Adam's claws had caught her on her lower back, just above her butt, taking a small chunk out of the leather but an even bigger chunk out of Faith.

"This needs to be cleaned," Buffy said softly, almost not recognising her own voice as she reacted to the need she could feel from Faith.

"I'll just take a shower and. . ." Faith stopped talking as Buffy pushed up her shirt, feeling it peel away from the wounds and the blood. She couldn't help but hiss a little in pain.

"I'll clean it, Faith," Buffy told her. "I don't want you going back to the future all beaten up; they'll think I did it."

Faith chuckled, hearing the joke in the way Buffy spoke. There was also a hint of regret there too, however, and she knew where that came from. They'd spoken a little about the past - at least the past that this Buffy was aware of – and it was obvious that they both wished things could have been different. That they could have worked out their differences and all the harm that Finch's death had caused.

It was pretty much wishful thinking wanting to put it all right, however. The most they could hope for was a little more understanding.

"Sit down," Buffy told Faith when Faith allowed her to pull up her shirt to reveal the wounds.

The claw marks weren't too deep, but they'd need dressing at least. She was thankful that Faith didn't argue, watching as the other slayer sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Buffy to do what she wanted to do. This kind of easiness between them still surprised Buffy, even after the other day when she'd first stumbled upon 'Faith of the future' and they'd chatted quite openly and honestly – to a point.

She'd spent days wishing she could come back to this motel room to see Faith, to talk with her, and just enjoy being around her. But she'd wanted to respect Faith's wishes, and she didn't want to be the cause of anything going wrong with Faith's mission. This was an extenuating situation, though, so she tried not to worry too much and went into the bathroom to get towels and a wet cloth.

Rooting around some more in the small bathroom, she found a first aid kit and brought it back into the bedroom with her, placing the things beside Faith and removing her own jacket.

"Adam's a mean bastard, huh," Faith stated, stretching her back experimentally. "Sorry we couldn't take him on, B. Just can't risk. . ."

"I understand," Buffy interrupted. "It was stupid of me to suggest it."

She gave Faith a reassuring smile and picked up the cloth she'd run warm water over. Faith turned a little on the edge of the bed, her head twisted just enough so she could see Buffy behind her. Gently, Buffy made sure Faith's shirt wouldn't drop down, pushing it up a little further.

"Want me to take it off?" Faith asked, hoping she didn't sound as pleased as she felt at having Buffy's fingers brushing against her skin. This couldn't get complicated.

"Sure," Buffy answered, knowing it was a bad idea, but not caring for the moment.

The very idea of Faith removing clothing for her was enough to make her lose a little of her sense. She just hoped she could keep control of her hands.

Slowly, Faith removed her shirt, throwing it to the bed and grumbling a little about the fact it was pretty much ruined. She had a bra on, but she felt almost naked as she noticed Buffy's gaze wandering over her approvingly. Faith bit down the instinct to mock Buffy for it, preferring instead just to enjoy the moment rather than destroy it – she wouldn't get any moments like this once she was back in her own time. For all she knew, Buffy could be even worse with her when she got back, due to the mix of memories – some of the body-swap, some of it not even happening. It surely wouldn't hurt too much to bask in Buffy's admiration for a few moments.

Tenderly, Buffy swiped Faith's long hair out of the way, placing it over Faith's shoulder, enjoying the soft texture of it before removing her fingers. She had to focus on Faith's wounds, even though that was very difficult given the fact she just wanted to touch Faith everywhere.

Now that Buffy had come to terms with how Faith made her feel, it was like she could think of nothing else. Her hormones were going crazy; she'd even been avoiding Riley so she didn't have to explain her frequent lapses in concentration. There was no doubt in her mind that if Faith was receptive to the idea she'd make a move on her. Buffy certainly wanted to.

Taking a breath to steady her hands, Buffy started wiping at the bloody claw marks, cleaning them as best she could before drying Faith's back and grabbing the antiseptic cream beside her.

"This might hurt," Buffy warned, impressed so far that Faith hadn't flinched with pain already. She just sat there, letting Buffy take care of her, which made Buffy feel all kinds of fluttery in her stomach.

"Go for it," Faith said, her voice deep and husky; clearly affected by the way Buffy's skilfull fingers were touching her so gently.

She couldn't help but be affected; she'd wanted this kind of attention from Buffy for as long as she could remember, and it was hard not just giving in to it a little. She knew she had to resist the temptation, but she suddenly felt so tired. So tired of fighting all the time. This was practically heaven, even though her wounds were stinging now.

"Just a little more," Buffy said as she applied the cream, rubbing it in as softly as she could.

With one hand resting lightly on Faith's shoulder, she wiped her fingers on the towel, removing the cream from them, and leaned down a little way to blow over Faith's lower back. She knew from experience that it would sooth the stinging, if just a little. When she felt Faith shudder, she blew again, her own body reacting to being so close to Faith, knowing – sensing – that Faith was getting turned on.

"Buffy," Faith practically whispered in warning, the desire in her voice making it a sensual sound that made Buffy instantly wet.

This was getting a bit too much for Buffy. Her body yearned for Faith in a way that was almost frightening. Hell, it had certainly frightened her in the past; enough to do all she could to dismiss it.

Trailing her fingers over Faith's shoulder, Buffy swallowed, unable to find the strength to walk away. She leaned even further forward and placed a kiss just below her hand on Faith's shoulder blade, taking a moment to enjoy the warmth of Faith's skin on her lips. They both shuddered, but not from the slight chill in the room. She kissed again, several times, moving towards Faith's neck as Faith began to breathe a little faster.

Close to losing control, close to turning around and taking Buffy in her arms so she could kiss her, touch her, lay her down and do all the things to her she'd always wanted, Faith tried to speak, to say "stop," but she couldn't. This was Buffy, and she'd wanted her so badly. She'd needed Buffy to care this way from the very start.

Tipping her head to the side so Buffy could kiss her neck more easily, she sighed as hands moved around to her stomach, touching her there with definite purpose. Her nipples were hard, straining against her bra, and she was wet and throbbing for Buffy. When she felt the tip of Buffy's tongue flick out at her throat, travelling up towards her ear, Faith moved a hand back, grasping Buffy's thigh and squeezing gently.

She really, really didn't want to remember how much of a bad idea this was. She really didn't, but she couldn't help but think of Buffy in the future and how it could affect her. If she left too much of an impression on Buffy here with this, too big a ripple, god only knew what the consequences would be. She already knew it was going to be hard going back to her own time knowing now that Buffy had once had thoughts and feelings about her. She already had the prospect of having to keep that knowledge to herself when she got back, fearful that Buffy would just refute it causing the flimsy trust between them shattering to nothing.

There was no way she could let this continue.

Turning in Buffy's arms, instantly seeing the desire in Buffy's eyes and wanting to fall into them forever, Faith licked her lips slowly, about to remind them both why they couldn't go any further. Unfortunately, Buffy wasn't thinking quite as clearly and she leaned towards Faith, their lips meeting before Faith could stop it. Once Buffy was kissing her, she melted into her, instantly kissing back and forgetting what she'd turned to say.

Their mouths met slowly at first, lips delicately testing the water, but they soon let desire take control. Opening her mouth slightly, Buffy moaned at the first feel of Faith's tongue against her own. She hadn't planned on kissing Faith, but she was glad she had. She just knew that Faith had been about to say they had to stop, but Buffy wasn't ready to stop. Not yet.

She loved the way Faith's lips felt on her own, so soft, so full. This wasn't like kissing a man, it was sexy and sensual and Buffy could feel her whole body reacting. Just the flick of Faith's tongue against her own made her head spin and she didn't want to stop. Moving her hands up into Faith's hair, she kissed her deeper, twirling their tongues together as they pressed closer at the foot of the bed. The heat coming from Faith was intoxicating, and Buffy wanted to feel more of her. The little bit of skin she could feel just wasn't enough.

Murmuring against Buffy's lips, unsure if she'd told Buffy to stop or continue, Faith allowed herself to enjoy Buffy's mouth with her own. They were in dangerous territory, but it felt so good. Buffy was a great kisser and Faith couldn't help it when her hands pulled her closer, wanting Buffy against her. She was losing any control she had, falling into Buffy, leaning against her until Buffy toppled over onto the bed. It didn't deter either of them and Buffy gripped Faith's shoulders, stopping Faith from pulling away as they kissed hungrily, greedily now.

Their hearts pounded together in rhythm, bodies finding natural spaces and curves to settle into as hands tried to learn what they could, where they could. For so many years Faith had wanted this. For so many hurt filled, hateful, god-awful years, and here Buffy was. . .wanting what she wanted. Needing what she needed. It was almost too good to be true. Almost too right in the face of all that was wrong with it.

This had to end.

Faith pulled her lips away from Buffy's with difficulty, fighting her deep desire to continue.

"Faith," Buffy began, her breath ragged and her eyes searching Faith's, "don't stop. Please."

With a sigh, Faith sat up again abruptly, running both her hands through her hair as Buffy sat up beside her. They'd come so close and Faith felt like a failure.

"We have to," Faith managed to say, trying not to look in Buffy's direction as she regained her control, as her lungs burned and her heart hammered in her chest.

A soft hand on Faith's back made her want to cry in frustration. Why did Buffy have to be with her like this now? Why couldn't this have happened long ago, before they'd broken beyond repair?

Faith's heart ached and she needed air. She needed space to think, to breathe, to not feel Buffy crawling her way back inside her soul.

"I switched the device today," she told Buffy, keen to get both their heads back in the game. "Things should run smoothly from here; you just have to be ready for the fight when I wake up from the coma."

She heard Buffy sigh beside her, the hand dropping away. Hopefully the reminder that Buffy still had to act like she hated her – the Faith from then, that would wake up full of rage and pain – brought some perspective to what they'd just been doing. Hopefully Buffy realised how much of a bad idea it would have been to continue.

"I hate that we still have to fight," Buffy said, almost a whisper.

"You can't deviate from that," Faith reminded, no matter what.

"I don't have to like it."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence and Faith suddenly felt the chill to the air; she didn't have a shirt on of course.

Standing on slightly shaky legs, Faith crossed the room to her bag, pulling out a clean tee shirt and pulling it on. She winced a little from the pain at her lower back but she could already feel the wounds healing. Turning to look at Buffy, Faith shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. This was a little awkward, and strange, and not a predicament she wanted to be in. Her body was screaming for her to take Buffy, but her mind, her conscience, was telling her to keep her distance.

"You'll let me know what happened? Call me, after the fight?" Faith asked, almost tripping over her words; her mouth felt suddenly lost without Buffy against it.

"Sure," Buffy answered, looking down at her hands.

Buffy hated this. It had been so much easier with this Faith, future-Faith, or whatever it was she should call her. It had been so good feeling that bond between them, and feeling comfortable with her, but that was all but gone now. She knew she shouldn't have kissed Faith – it was her fault they were feeling awkward now – but she hadn't been able to resist. And she knew if Faith moved closer to her right now, she'd do the same again. She wanted more of Faith than she'd ever wanted from anybody.

But Faith was right. They needed to keep things how they were meant to be. They couldn't risk losing themselves in each other – no matter how much they both wanted it – because soon. . .this Faith would be gone. Soon, Buffy would have to fight the Faith from her own time, pretending not to care, not to love, not to want what she'd always wanted. The very idea made her feel sick and she knew where she'd go after leaving this motel room tonight. She'd go to see Faith. Her Faith.

She'd walk down that stark hospital corridor alone, and say goodbye. She'd have to let her heart break so that life could go on as normal. So that the Faith standing before her went back home triumphant.

Getting to her feet, Buffy felt the lump in her throat and fought against it. She couldn't cry in front of Faith; that would be unfair. She had to be strong.

"I'll go now," Buffy said, the emotion in her voice barely disguised. "I'm glad we . . ." A hot tear rolled down her cheek and she bit back the hurt inside her.

She knew she'd never see this Faith again as the way she saw her now. In the future, they wouldn't have this memory. They wouldn't have this time they'd spent together.

"I'm glad I met you," Buffy said quietly. "Please, be safe."

Faith just nodded, feeling her own heart breaking as much as Buffy's. She swallowed hard, not wanting Buffy to see how much this was hurting her too. It had to be this way. The timeline had to remain true, meaning they had to ignore what they felt and what they wanted.

They didn't have a choice.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

It was the day Faith awoke from her coma. The day a series of events unfolded that had repercussions beyond what anybody could have imagined. It was the day that those events were to be altered.

Faith paced her motel room, back and forth, like a woman possessed. She knew she had to stay indoors, out of sight. There was no way in hell she could risk being seen by her former self. Her self of the past. She had to wait it out and hope everything went as clockwork. Right about now, her past self was leaving the hospital. She'd soon discover that Buffy was no longer with the vampire she'd stabbed her for. She'd soon discover what it truly meant to be forgotten about. To be left to rot.

She'd soon be so full of rage she'd do anything to hurt Buffy.

Faith wished she could go now, find her old self and tell her not to do the stupid things she was about to do, but she had to stop herself every time she put her hand on the door handle. Everything had to stay the same, the only difference being that Faith wouldn't swap bodies with Buffy. Still, it was worrying wondering what would happen next. Would Faith run? Would she try to hurt Buffy another way?

According to Willow things would play out pretty much the same, except this time Faith would be captured by the Council and not Buffy in Faith's body. And it would be Faith who had to break out of their clutches, eventually getting on that train to LA that had taken her to Angel's doorstep. It seemed like there were a lot of risks with this mission, but Faith had been assured that nothing awry would happen. Just one change. Just one thing erased.

There were still butterflies in Faith's belly, however, and she felt a little sick. What if somehow Buffy got hurt? What if somehow she'd screwed up?

Pulling out the orb safely stashed away in her bag, Faith held it in her strong hands. It just looked like any old bit of glass, but this was what would send her home. All she had to do was smash it. She wondered how long she'd stay in the past if she were never to smash it. It sounded like a fairly appealing idea if things went south and she was left with the prospect of having to go back to her own time with bad news.

But she couldn't do that. She couldn't leave them fighting the First alone. She couldn't leave Buffy to fight the First without her, no matter how difficult their relationship was.

Nervously picking things up and putting them down, twisting the real body-swap device around in her hands, packing her bag, emptying it, re-packing it, Faith accepted that she just wasn't going to settle. She'd have to go nuts on her own, inside, until she got word that Buffy had fought with Faith and that it was time for her to leave.

She hated sitting around, though, and she hated sitting there thinking about how good it had been to finally get along with Buffy - at least the Buffy from this time. It had been so good and they'd both accepted how they felt, but none of those memories would remain for 'her Buffy' back in her own time. They'd be back at square one, though Faith would have the added knowledge that Buffy had always been attracted to her.

Knowing she had to take that information back with her but never divulge it, never let on that she knew, made Faith feel even more antsy. How was she going to look Buffy in the eye? She didn't know if she could carry on as normal with Buffy after what had been said here, and after what they'd done. She couldn't forget that kiss, though she was aware that when she got back home. . .it would be as if it had never happened for Buffy.

"I should never have come here," Faith mumbled to herself.

Both her head and her heart hurt now and there was no cure.

Sitting by the phone and waiting for it to ring, to find out if things were going as planned, Faith closed her eyes and tried not to think. This was just a mission. She owed the world this, and her heart was of no consequence.

* * *

Buffy chewed at her fingernails. She wanted to hide. She wanted to intercept Faith before she got there, but she knew she couldn't. Faith from the future had told her to be at home by a certain time so here she was, waiting. She'd already had one run-in with Faith at the college, the day after she'd come out of her coma. It had hurt so much to see Faith so angry, in so much pain. Seeing her like that made it all the more impressive that Faith of the future had changed so much, and that she'd been able to come back without that same desperate need for revenge.

There was no doubt that Buffy felt Faith deep in her heart now. Both versions of her: the angry Faith, and the Faith that she'd been lucky enough to meet ahead of time.

How she was going to continue with her life knowing what she did, she didn't know. Faith had told her that - over time - she wouldn't remember the little visit from the future and everything that had happened between them, but she didn't want to forget. No matter how hard it would be to carry that knowledge around with her, she didn't want to forget any of it.

Moving her mother's furniture to the edges of the room, Buffy made sure there was space in the house to fight without wrecking everything. She was sure that little changes like sending her mother out of the house and re-arranging the furniture wouldn't make too much of a difference. They would still fight, and the Council, according to what she'd been told, would eventually pick Faith up. Buffy wasn't going to divert the timeline much more than preserving her mother's brand new dining room table, so she tried to relax.

If relax actually meant hop around like a cat trapped in a box.

This feeling was awful but there was no way to avoid it. Any minute now Faith would arrive, and she'd try to switch bodies with Buffy. Ugly words would be exchanged. Fists would pound and blood would no doubt flow. Buffy didn't want any of it to happen. But she sat and she waited; the ache in her heart almost unbearable.

* * *

The shrill ring of the telephone made Faith jump; she'd been beside it for almost an hour but the sound had still managed to surprise her. Picking up the receiver, she said hello and waited for Buffy to speak.

"It's done," Buffy said, her voice tight.

"Everything went ok?" Faith asked, the pounding in her chest making it almost difficult to hear.

"She tried to use the device and nothing happened, then she hit me and ran."

The sadness in Buffy's tone was hard to miss. She sounded so sullen, so discouraged.

"Good," Faith said.

It was unfortunate that Buffy was upset, but there'd been no other way and Faith couldn't beat herself up over it, even if it did twist at her stomach and make her want to hit things.

"The spell Willow needs to do with the Scythe should work now," Faith continued, almost to herself. "And you should forget this ever. . ."

"What if I don't want to forget?" Buffy asked.

"You don't have a choice," Faith answered. "In a week or two things'll be normal for you again."

"I don't want them to be."

Faith could hear that Buffy was trying not to cry and it made her grip the phone a little tighter, staving off her own volatile emotions.

"They have to be," Faith reminded, trying not to think about the hell ahead for Buffy; losing her mother, losing her life, coming back changed, hurting, broken. Faith wished she could protect Buffy from all of those things, from everything, but she couldn't. "We don't wanna piss Willow off," she added with a forlorn chuckle. "She's all kindsa hooked into the magic mojo in my time; she'd have us runnin' around as little monkeys or something if we screw everything up just because we. . ."

She couldn't finish speaking, her throat closing up as she glanced over at the orb she would be smashing to pieces very soon.

"Because we care about each other?" Buffy guessed correctly, finishing Faith's sentence. "Because we do, don't we; even through all the crap we did to each other. Even when I'm horrible to you in the future, I just know I still care, and that you do too. Maybe that's why everything always hurt so much."

Swallowing hard, Faith wanted to avoid agreeing, but she couldn't. Maybe it would do her some good to get it out. Buffy would forget about it anyway, with no lasting side effects. This Buffy's memory of the conversation would be gone in a week, maybe two, maybe less.

"Yeah," Faith responded, the thick burr to her voice that much deeper with the enormity of what she was about to say. "I'll always care. Always love you."

She wasn't sure Buffy had heard her at first because she'd said it so quietly, and because Buffy didn't respond. Listening closely, Faith soon discovered that Buffy was crying softly.

"I'm sorry," Faith said, holding a hand to her head and wishing she could take back the words. "I probably shouldn't have said that."

"No, I'm glad you did," Buffy said, sniffling down the phone. "I know you say I won't remember, but I think I needed to hear that."

There was a pause and Faith was reluctant to say anymore, because all that was really left to say was goodbye.

Clearing her throat, Buffy broke the silence before it became too awkward.

"I know I should let you go without saying anything, because unlike me you'll actually remember this, but. . .I just. . ." Buffy took a breath before continuing. "I. . ."

"You don't have to say anything, B," Faith interrupted, sensing Buffy's struggle.

She'd never expect Buffy to say the words she'd longed to hear. Faith hadn't meant to put Buffy on the spot, and she didn't want to be placated for the sake of it; she could already feel that Buffy cared and that was enough. It may not have been love for Buffy, but at least it wasn't nothing at all.

"Faith, I. . ." Again Buffy stalled, her voice cracking.

Taking a breath and sitting straighter, Faith decided they had to move on. They could have sat there forever wanting to feel, to explain, but finding themselves stuck for words. It was too late for any of that. Faith had said what she'd always wanted to say to Buffy and she could go back home feeling a little lighter, a little better about the difficult relationship they'd always had. Dragging things out now was only going to be painful.

"Buffy, I have to go," Faith told her, hardening herself. Putting up her walls ready to face what was ahead. Ready to face the Buffy that was waiting for her return. "I've done what I needed to do and I have to get back. If the Council start snooping. . ."

"I know," Buffy acknowledged quietly. "It's too dangerous for you to stay now."

She didn't want Faith to go just yet but she understood that the longer she was there the longer the timeline was at risk. If only they had just a little more time so she could go to Faith's motel room. So she could look in her eyes and tell her all the things she wanted to say. All the things she should have said before Finch, after Finch, when what they already had was still possible to save.

Maybe one day.

"I hope everything turns out ok," Buffy said, trying to be strong.

"Me too," Faith admitted.

Unsure what else to say and finding no excuse to stay other than just to be with this Buffy, Faith decided now was the time to go. If she didn't go now, she'd never be able to.

"I'll see you around, B," she said, controlling her voice as best she could so that Buffy would never guess she would give anything just to stay there with her.

"Goodbye, Faith."

Faith took a deep breath and said goodbye, her hands shaking as she put the phone down on Buffy's tears. There was no way to make this easier.

She stood, grabbing her bag and taking one last look around. Faith would have crossed her fingers if she believed in that kind of thing, but she didn't. You made your own luck in this world; she knew that better than most. Her hand held the orb lightly, balancing it on her palm as she did her best to damn the well of emotion threatening to engulf her.

Coming back here at this time, seeing Buffy, finally understanding Buffy and what had been between them. . .it had all been too much. She had to get a grip on this uneasy feeling inside her. When she arrived back there would be no time to sit and dwell, no time to process; they'd be readying themselves for the big fight, and Faith's head needed to be in the game. What was done was done. What was past was past. It was time to let go of her fear of rejection. Time to let go of her love for Buffy, because in her own time it would never be returned, and she knew that now more than ever.

Buffy may once have been attracted to her, cared for her, but the Buffy she knew had been hurt too much and had been through too much to make more of the tentative trust they now had.

Time to let go.

The orb dropped from Faith's hand to the floor.

* * *

"Faith," a soft voice called, breaking through the blinding light that seemed to fill Faith's head. "Just relax, you'll feel better in a minute."

Faith nodded, letting Willow's voice ease the rising panic inside her. She was hurting everywhere, especially her head, and she couldn't see past that light.

"You're back home, and safe," Giles said from somewhere further away.

"Did it work?" Faith asked, her voice barely a croak as she raised a hand to her head and closed her eyes.

There was a momentary pause and Faith gripped what felt like a blanket beneath her. Surely it must have worked. She couldn't go through all that again.

"Here," Willow said softly, "feel for yourself."

She was handed something heavy, solid, cold against her palms. It was the scythe and it was practically humming in her hands as she gripped it. It definitely felt different, more powerful. The sensations coursing through her, emanating from the formidable weapon, made her dizzy.

Placing it to the side, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"It worked," Buffy confirmed, unusually reticent. She'd probably been expecting Faith to screw up.

Slowly opening her eyes, Faith looked over to where she guessed Buffy was standing by the window. Though her eyes were still adjusting she could see that Buffy's arms were folded, and that she looked a little edgy, unsettled even. Deciding not to risk speaking with Buffy just yet Faith turned to Giles as he came closer, standing by the bed next to Willow.

"How long was I gone?" Faith asked, feeling a wave of nausea roll over her.

"Five hours," Giles replied. "As we expected really."

Faith nodded. There was a strange tension in the room and she couldn't place where it was coming from. Maybe they'd all just been worried and anxious and it hadn't yet cleared after Faith's return.

Giles adjusted his glasses, thinking of a way to ask Faith how things had gone and what had happened, but not wishing to rush her or appear insensitive. She'd arrived back with a hard landing, falling into a heap on the bedroom floor. They'd picked her up and checked her over, placing her on Buffy's bed as they waited for her to regain consciousness.

It had taken about ten minutes for her to come round and she looked a little worse for wear. Her skin was pale and her brow warm to the touch. Giles felt guilty for sending her through space and time without fully taking into account any possible side effects. He doubted there would be any, but it was mostly supposition.

He cleared his throat and decided it was best to get the questions over with so that Faith could rest up.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Like I got caught in a stampede at Fenway Park," she answered, holding her head.

"Nauseous?" he questioned.

"Yeah, and a headache from hell. Been stuck with a headache for a few days though," she explained. "When I was there, not here."

"I understand," Giles said, nodding as he looked down at her.

"I did a little more research," Willow interjected, smiling at Faith apologetically. "You'll probably be stuck with a headache for a few more hours."

"I guess it's worth it if everything's how it should be now," Faith said, trying not to move her head too much.

"Everything seems to be fine," Giles stated. "We all recall both memories: the memory of you switching bodies with Buffy, and also the memory of it never actually happening. The more prominent memory is the latter one, which means you succeeded."

"Thank fuck for that," Faith said with a slight grin.

She felt proud of herself, even though nobody was exactly jumping up and down with joy. Not that that surprised her; none of them really trusted her yet and it was doubtful they'd go out of their way to thank her. She couldn't blame them really; she deserved their doubt and their bitterness.

"Are you feeling up to a few questions?" Giles asked, pulling up a chair beside the bed.

"Sure," Faith agreed, though she felt as if she could sleep for a week right now.

With Buffy watching from the other side of the room, Faith decided not to complain and just get things over with so they could get back to planning to take down the First. What did it matter if her head was throbbing and her heart was in a bad state?

"So you switched the devices," Giles said, obviously guessing that much given the fact that the scythe was now working at full capacity – or whatever it was that Willow needed it to be. "And nobody was any the wiser?"

Faith scrunched up her brow a bit, wondering if she should even tell them about bumping into Buffy and warning her about what was happening. Across the room, Buffy gave no indication that she recalled anything, but Faith couldn't be sure if there was some residual memory there. It was probably best to be honest – up until a point at least.

"Well, that's the thing," Faith began. "There was kind of a. . .thing."

"A thing?" Giles asked, raising an eyebrow.

"When I first got there I stumbled into Buffy."

Buffy perked up at the mention of her name, which made Faith almost certain that she didn't remember any of it. Giles glanced over at Buffy but Buffy said nothing, she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Go on," Giles encouraged, turning back to Faith.

"I tried to keep outta sight but. . .well, the details don't really matter," Faith said. "She wasn't just gonna let me go about my business so I had no choice. I had to tell her what I was doing there, but I tried not to give too much away."

"And she allowed you to continue your mission once you'd explained your presence?" Giles asked.

"Pretty much," Faith answered, glancing at Buffy. "I don't blame her for wondering what the fuck I was doing, but she was cool with it all once I told her how important it was for me to do what I had to."

"I see," Giles said, taking off his glasses and swiping at them with a handkerchief. "And you have no recollection of this, Buffy?"

He turned towards Buffy and she seemed to be thinking about her answer, but she eventually shook her head no.

"I don't. . .I don't think so," she replied, not sounding quite one hundred percent sure.

Her eyes met Faith's, searching them it seemed, but saying nothing more.

"Good," Giles stated, smiling at them both. "We discussed our memories before you woke and everything else seems in order, so I think we can safely call the mission an unmitigated success."

He would have more questions for Faith later, and for Buffy, but for now he was happy to let her rest. They would all need their strength for what came next, the slayers especially.

"We should celebrate," Willow suggested enthusiastically.

"Sure, 'long as you do it someplace else, and way, way quietly," Faith grumbled, rubbing at her forehead.

"Sorry," Willow whispered, wincing a little overdramatically. "You probably need sleep. And painkillers," she said. "I'll go get painkillers."

"Thanks," Faith said with a weak smile.

She watched as both Willow and Giles got to their feet to leave, noticing that Buffy was lingering, her brow furrowed. She appeared to be a little anxious, but Faith couldn't guess why. Maybe it was the prospect of what they had ahead of them now; it was finally time for Buffy to rally the troops and lead them in a bid to save the world, again. It wasn't surprising that she'd be a bit tense. If Buffy remembered anything at all that had happened when Faith had met her in the past, she wasn't giving any clues about it. Faith supposed that Willow had been completely correct; Buffy had forgotten.

It made Faith's heart ache that little bit more, but she was used to that around Buffy so she'd deal with it. She'd have to. It didn't matter that she knew Buffy had wanted more between them when they'd been friends, Buffy herself had no recollection of ever telling Faith the truth about it. . .so it was best left in the past. There was no point agonising over what could never be. Faith would swallow that pain and just be the best slayer Buffy could ever have at her side, be the person she could finally trust. If Buffy allowed her to be.

"If you need anything. . ." Giles began.

"Just sleep," Faith interrupted drowsily as they all moved to the door, leaving Faith to finally relax.

"Of course," Giles said with a smile, ushering Willow out and encouraging Buffy to follow.

Buffy wasn't exactly rushing. She seemed reluctant to leave but she remained quiet, only heading towards the door when Giles gave her a gentle smile. She stopped when it was pushed open from the other side and a head peeked around.

"I made tea for everybody," Joyce said cheerfully, pushing the door open further, carrying a small tray with cups and cookies.

Nobody moved, their eyes darting from Joyce, to Buffy, to Faith and back. Buffy lifted a hand to her mouth, tears forming in her eyes, but Joyce seemed pretty much oblivious to the fact she should be. . .well, dead.

"It's good to see you back safe, Faith," Joyce said with a smile, placing the tray on the bedside cabinet.

It took a moment for her to realise everybody was just staring and she stood still for a moment, about to ask what was going on.

In that split second Faith suddenly realised that she remembered Joyce. Joyce had been there all along, kind of. She remembered her both dying and being alive. Something had obviously happened, and now - as with their memories of the body-switch and the memories of it never having happened - they had both memories of Joyce.

The realisation must have hit Buffy and the others too, as they went from looking confused to looking relived and thankful in a matter of moments.

"Did I come in at the wrong time, dear?" Joyce asked Buffy, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline.

"No," Buffy answered, almost a whisper, walking towards her mother as if she was an apparition. "No, you came at just the right time."

She hugged Joyce tightly, her gaze fixed to Faith, a look in her eyes that Faith didn't know how to read. It might have been recognition, but it could just have easily been gratitude.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Watching her mom from the doorway of the kitchen, Buffy felt a strange mix of emotions. She knew the reasons she had both memories of her mother – her death, and her never dying – but she didn't quite know how to deal with it all. The grief she'd felt was still there, but it was distant, not as raw or real. It was similar with her memory of the body-swap with Faith. She had those memories but she had others too and they both felt oddly out of place.

Whatever the reason her mother was there now though, she was happy about it. It wasn't a bad thing as far as she was concerned. Giles had said that it was probably due to the fact that Joyce hadn't been at the house when Faith had arrived there to use the body-swap device on Buffy. They all remembered that Faith had hit Joyce in the original memory, but with her not being there after Faith's warning from the future. . .well, it meant that Joyce had never received that particular blow to the head.

Of course, Faith felt awful that she'd been the possible cause of Joyce's death originally, but Giles reminded her that it could have just been a factor and not the sole cause. Buffy couldn't bring herself to blame Faith. Faith would never have guessed that she'd cause Joyce irrevocable damage, and anyway, her warning had saved Joyce's life in the end. She wished Faith would see things the same way but Faith was too busy blaming herself and wallowing in self-hatred.

Buffy would have to deal with that; they couldn't afford to have Faith doubting herself right now. They all needed to be ready as they'd be making their move the following day, taking the First by surprise.

Dawn happily helped Joyce put dishes away and tidy the kitchen and Buffy couldn't help but smile despite what they faced. She had her family back, she had her friends and all those that were important to her. She had potential slayers that would soon discover what it felt like to have real power. And she had hope. No, not hope. . .she had belief.

They'd get through this. All of them.

Turning from the kitchen, Buffy walked slowly through the living room, nodding towards Giles as she headed to the stairs. He was worried about Faith. It had been a few hours now since her arrival back from the past, and though they'd all talked and worked out how things had happened and what repercussions there had been from Faith's little trip, Faith had been closed off and distant. Once she'd realised that she'd once been the possible cause of Joyce's suffering she shut down completely.

They'd left her alone to sleep then, going about their own preparations as Dawn and Buffy spent time with their mother. Joyce was clueless as to why the girls were feeling extra needy as Buffy had decided that they shouldn't tell her about what had happened in the past – what had really happened. At least not yet.

Walking slowly up the stairs, Buffy wondered if she should just leave Faith resting but something pulled her towards her room. She hadn't yet spoken to Faith about what she remembered. Hadn't mentioned that when Faith had told them all she'd bumped into Buffy in the past it had triggered something within Buffy. Triggered a memory that must have been with her – hidden inside – all this time.

She now remembered Faith being in Sunnydale from the future. She remembered how they'd bumped into each other, how she'd felt, how Faith had _made_ her feel. It was hazy and she had the feeling there were bits and pieces missing, but it was definitely there. And she needed to talk with Faith about it. They couldn't go into battle together without anything being said. They could no longer ignore what they'd always ignored. Life was short – especially for a slayer – and Buffy had to find the courage to face this thing – the white elephant in the room.

Pausing for a moment outside her own bedroom door, Buffy tried to organize her thoughts. Faith was at the other side of that door and she realised she didn't have a clue what to say to her. How do you start a conversation like the one they needed to have? Buffy rubbed at her forehead and stepped forward. She held her hand aloft ready to knock, but a sound to her right made her turn that way.

"You're not going to argue are you?" Willow asked as she leaned against the doorframe to the spare room – Willow's room now she came to think about it. So much change, yet all the same.

"No," Buffy said quietly, moving closer to Willow so they could talk softly. "I just need to. . .ask a few things."

Willow nodded, looking like she understood on some level. Buffy suddenly wondered if Willow knew about her time with Faith from the future those few years ago; if she did she wasn't saying anything. And if she did, Buffy wasn't sure she wanted to know. She still needed to figure it all out. She'd bonded back then with Faith in a way that felt right, they'd kissed, Faith had told her she loved her. There was so much to think about and Buffy was too tired to deal with it right now. Either she had to ignore it until after they fought the First, or she'd have to come right out with it all to Faith so that it wasn't lingering in her mind at a time when she needed all her focus.

"She's probably feeling kinda crappy right now," Willow reminded Buffy. "She might still have a headache, and yunno. . .the thing about Joyce."

"I know," Buffy assured solemnly. "I'm not sure I know how I feel about that."

It wasn't that she wanted to blame Faith, she didn't really, but everything was so confused right now.

"She didn't know she'd hurt her that badly when she hit her," Willow said. "And it might not have been that. . .although, Joyce being here after Faith didn't hit her in the new timeline is probably a pretty good indication that. . ."

"Willow, you're making my head hurt a little," Buffy winced. "This whole timeline thing is. . .difficult."

"Sorry," Willow said, looking sheepish.

Buffy hadn't meant to snap, she was just trying not to make her brain cells explode with information and possibilities and god knows what else. She had to let the past go – the bad past – and concentrate on what was ahead.

"It's ok," Buffy soothed, giving her best friend's arm a small squeeze. "I'm just going a little crazy, and I need to talk with Faith about some stuff."

"Ok," Willow said with a timid smile. "I hope it doesn't end up with things getting broken."

Buffy chuckled sadly. It was quite disheartening thinking that everybody expected the worst from them, even with the memories of the new timeline running through their brains. They didn't know the half of it though. They didn't know what lay just under that harsh, hurtful surface. Buffy did. She was sure she did now.

She loved Faith.

It seemed crazy to even say it in her own mind, but when she did it felt right. It made things make sense where there was no sense before. It made everything slot into place. She wondered if she'd loved Faith from the start, and why, or if it had been the influence of Faith from the future warping the way she saw things now. Whatever the case, it was how she felt and there was no sidestepping it no matter how confusing it was.

"We won't fight," Buffy assured Willow. "I hope."

She gave Willow a little grin then turned back to her room, lifting her hand and knocking gently before she chickened out.

A rather weak "Yo," came from the other side of the door and Buffy grasped the handle, slowly making her way inside as Willow gave a soft sigh behind her and then went on her way.

"Hi," Buffy said, barely a whisper as she closed the door behind her and took in the sight of Faith tucked under her duvet on her bed, curled on her side on the edge as if she didn't think she deserved to take up much more space than that.

It practically broke Buffy's heart to see Faith so disillusioned even after the great job she'd done on her mission into the past. Faith had always been full of life, energy, passion, even if at times it had caused more trouble than good. Buffy had always been a little envious of Faith's drive and passion. She'd never admitted it and probably never would, but Faith had made Buffy want to break out of her own little box and live without the restraints she'd always felt around her. But her calling had always come first. Sunnydale had always been her tether.

Seeing Faith broken was hard, and it was dangerous. They needed Faith right now. Buffy needed her.

Faith gave a small nod as Buffy walked closer. She didn't know where to start with this and Faith looked thoroughly depressed. Standing by the window, glancing between the darkness outside and Faith on the bed, Buffy ordered her thoughts - or tried to – finding a place to begin.

"I really am sorry about your mom," Faith said gruffly, breaking the silence that had settled.

She'd said it a hundred times already since Joyce had walked in on them all and Buffy sighed sadly.

"I told you," Buffy began, "it's done now. Hell, it's different now. She's here because of you, remember?"

Faith had heard Buffy say those words, or similar, a few times now today but they weren't sinking in. She just felt awful. Of all the things she'd done in her life, of all the people and innocent creatures she'd killed. . .causing Joyce's death was by far the worst. If it were possible for her to hate herself more, she did. All she could think of was the pain it had caused Joyce, Buffy, and Dawn, and Faith wished she could run. Run away from the horrible person she was.

"Doesn't matter," Faith said. "She died because. . ."

"Faith," Buffy interrupted, "we don't know that you caused that, and you fixed it anyway. You took the risk that you'd change things and told me to get her out of the house. I'll always be grateful for that."

Faith wanted to argue, to tell Buffy that she should be yelling at her and throwing her out onto the street, but something Buffy had said caught her attention.

"You remember me saying that?" Faith asked, looking at Buffy for the first time since she'd entered.

"I do," Buffy admitted, knowing she was admitting to a hell of a lot more than just that.

She turned away from Faith, unable to look in her eyes and see sadness there where she wanted – needed – to see hope. To see what she'd seen when Faith had come to Sunnydale from the future and turned her heart around.

"I remember," Buffy said softly. "Everything."

Hearing the sheets ruffle on the bed, Buffy glanced back at Faith, watching as Faith sat up just a little against the pillows, her eyes locked on Buffy.

"Have you remembered all along? Like, for the past few years?" Faith asked, trying to wrap her mind around the implications. If Buffy had known for years that Faith had been in Sunnydale from the future to change things, then surely that. . .changed things.

It was all too bewildering and Faith hated that she was too tired to fully understand; not that she'd probably have a chance even if she was fighting fit and full of energy.

"No," Buffy said, noticing Faith's face relax a little with her answer. "I forgot after a week or so, just like you told me I would. But today, when you said we'd bumped into each other on your mission. . .it all came back. Slowly at first, but all of it."

Faith nodded, unsure what to say now. They'd been closer in that week together than they ever had before, even though Faith had been careful not to spend too much time around Buffy or make too much of a ripple in the timeline. She hadn't meant for Buffy to remember. It was a little awkward now.

"We should probably talk about some things," Buffy said, her voice almost cracking as she felt the weight of the situation press down on her.

"Is that a good idea?" Faith asked, truly unsure what good could come of bringing up what had happened between them, and what they'd spoken about. "It was a weird sitch and. . ."

"If you want us to just bury what. . ." Buffy took a breath, feeling her hands beginning to shake as she grappled with the truth of what they meant to each other. "Faith, I can't ignore what happened. I can't ignore what you said."

She couldn't ignore how it had made her feel, and how it made her feel now, but she didn't say that just yet. She wasn't sure if Faith regretted anything that had been said. Maybe Faith just didn't want this complication. Maybe Faith had wished, hoped, that Buffy would never remember, and that what they'd always been on the brink of would stay out of reach. Out of sight. Out of mind.

"I shoulda kept my mouth shut, B," Faith said, shaking her head, dismayed with herself for ever revealing so much to Buffy. "It just came out."

"I'm glad it did," Buffy told her, looking into Faith's eyes as she stepped closer to the bed. "We've both danced around this thing since. . .since the beginning."

Without asking for permission Buffy perched on the edge of the bed, sitting next to Faith by her legs. For a moment she didn't know what to do with her hands. They wanted to reach out and touch Faith, make some contact between them, but she decided to just keep them in her lap.

"We're about to face the biggest bad we've ever faced, and do the craziest thing we've ever done, and I for one don't want to go into it knowing I have this thing inside me that I've kept buried for so long," Buffy rationalised.

Faith blinked a few times, her heart pounding as Buffy spoke. She really didn't know if this was a good idea, but Buffy was right. . .they were about to face possible – almost certain - death. This was as good a time as any to lay some things on the line. She didn't want Buffy to do it for the wrong reasons, though. She didn't want pity or half-truths.

"Buffy, you don't have to explain anything, or say anything," Faith began. "I didn't tell you that I. . ." She couldn't repeat the words. Couldn't tell Buffy again that she loved her - not here. Not in this time. "I didn't say what I did just to get a reaction or pressure you into dealing with whatever this thing is."

She indicated them both with her hand, looking deep into Buffy's eyes, hoping she understood.

"I know that, Faith," Buffy responded, seeing the honesty and the apprehension in Faith's eyes. "And that's the point. You didn't say it just for the hell of it; I knew it was true as soon as you said it. I can remember that now as if it was yesterday."

Faith felt a little embarrassed. She wasn't good at this kind of talking, especially not with Buffy – this Buffy. There was no way she was going to come out of this with her dignity intact.

They fell silent for a moment, just looking at each other as Buffy wondered how they should proceed. Sure, she wanted to clear the air and get a few truths out, but what then? Did she want something with Faith? Did she really want to pursue this? Buffy just wasn't sure. Just yesterday she'd been cold with Faith, impersonal, doing her utmost not to get attached again because she didn't want that slap in the face that only Faith could deliver. She'd vowed not to care, not to think about any of the good times they'd had or the feelings deep within her that came hand in hand with the other slayer.

Buffy had managed to suppress her innermost needs and emotions when Faith had come back. Pushing them deeper than ever, she'd coped with Faith being there without too much ado. She couldn't go on that way; the uneasiness and mixed signals were beginning to cause a strain.

"B, I don't want you to. . ."

"Don't want me to what, Faith?" Buffy asked rhetorically. "Don't want me to be honest for a change? To stop being so guarded?"

Faith didn't know how to answer that so she allowed Buffy to continue uninterrupted.

"Yunno what? I've been through all kinds of crap since we fought, since we screwed up anything we could have had, and I'm done running," Buffy said, her voice raising slightly as she grew more convinced she was doing the right thing. "We might never get another chance so. . .I want you to know that. . ."

A noise out in the hall made them both turn their heads to look towards the door, but nobody came through it or knocked. It was probably just one of the potentials going to the bathroom. Or Spike skulking. Buffy was annoyed that it had interrupted her flow; she sighed, unsure whether she could get it back as she turned again to look at Faith.

"I've been through crap too," Faith said softly, her hands feeling moist with nerves and her mind beginning to drift as she felt her fatigue catch up with her again. "Been through enough to know sometimes it's better not to rock the boat. I guess I rocked it back in Sunnydale, telling you how I felt, and it was a mistake."

Shaking her head, Buffy placed a hand on Faith's leg over the duvet.

"It wasn't a mistake," she told Faith. "We've made plenty of mistakes, a hell of lot of them, but that wasn't one. Not dealing with this, not acknowledging it would be one. Let's not get this wrong anymore, Faith. I care about you. I always have."

Ok, so she hadn't said the L word, but Buffy was still protecting herself despite her argument that they needed to be open and honest now. She had to, until she was sure that it's what she really felt. Until she had no doubts, had no problem saying it, and even less feeling it.

With a nod, Faith licked her lips and held her breath. It felt good to hear that from Buffy. It was much more than she could have ever hoped for.

"We can put the past behind us," Buffy continued when Faith didn't say anything. "I want to. I really want to."

Buffy's voice had dropped to a whisper as she finished speaking, her heart beating a rhythm she'd only felt it beat around Faith, her hand squeezing Faith's leg.

"I want it too," Faith said, sitting up further, her hand covering Buffy's tentatively. "But I can't ever forget what I did. Can't ever stop paying for it. I don't wanna stop paying for it, I deserve. . ."

"You've already done a lot to make things better already," Buffy told her, enjoying the weight and the sensation of Faith's hand on her own. She turned her own hand so their palms warmed each other; shyly holding hands on her bed. "I'm not going to let you do it alone anymore; we both have blood on our hands. We both. . ."

"Wait, wait, wait," Faith interjected, raising her free hand. "I did all that shit, not you."

"But I fucked up," Buffy said before Faith went any further, noticing Faith's raised eyebrows - Buffy didn't cuss often. "I fucked up badly and no matter what you say I have to accept responsibility for the things I did, or didn't do, just as much as you've accepted responsibility for what you did. Let's leave it where it is. . .in the past. We don't have time to fight anymore and I'm sick of not knowing what the hell's happening between us."

She was almost out of breath after her little speech and Faith waited a moment before giving Buffy a little grin, lightening the mood a fraction. When it felt like minutes had passed before either of them spoke again, Faith cut Buffy a break, leaning forward some more and making sure Buffy was looking into her eyes.

"What do you want to happen between us, B?" she asked, sure that Buffy would panic and back down.

Buffy took a breath, realising that Faith was testing her resolve. Testing how far she was prepared to take this or if she was just full of words that didn't really mean anything.

"I don't know," Buffy confessed quietly, lowering her gaze for a second. "No, actually. . .I do," she amended.

This wasn't the time to get cold feet. This wasn't the time to leave Faith dangling. After all, Buffy had just tried to convince Faith they needed to be honest and get the awkwardness out of the way.

"I want to be your friend," Buffy said, continuing before Faith got the wrong idea. "But not just that; I think I want more."

"More?" Faith questioned, noticing Buffy's gaze flit down to her lips. "You don't think we'd drive each other crazy after five seconds?"

Buffy grinned slightly and nodded. "I think we'd definitely drive each other crazy, but it just might be worth it," she replied.

A soft hand touched Faith's face as Buffy moved a little closer. There was a part of Faith that wanted to turn away from it, or push it aside to save them both from something that could go very, very wrong. But she didn't push it away; taking a chance that there was more to them than just fighting and pain.

Buffy let her fingers gently move over Faith's cheek, her thumb drifting down to the full lips that she remembered kissing years before. She could almost feel that kiss now. Almost capture every single sensation that had exploded inside her with having Faith so close, so open to her. There was no doubt that she wanted that again, but she didn't want to rush Faith.

"You're sure?" Faith asked.

"Sure," Buffy replied, subconsciously leaning towards Faith as they looked deep into each other. "It's been nice having you here this last week and hopefully, when we make it out of this battle, we'll be able to spend more time together, and work out what we have. Or what we could have."

"Sounds too good to be true, B," Faith said, really trying to share Buffy's determined hope.

"We won't know unless we try," Buffy stated. "Are you willing to try? Or do you want me to go?"

Buffy lowered her hand from Faith's face, leaning back again to give Faith the opportunity to back out. She hoped she wouldn't but Buffy was prepared to wait for Faith to be sure of the possibility of them, even if she wasn't exactly completely sure of it herself.

"No," Faith answered, waging a small war within: one side telling her this was all kinds of wrong, and the other trying to convince her that they really could be something together.

"No to which question?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow and wondering if she'd have to offer something a little more persuasive to win Faith's trust.

She wasn't above proving that she wanted them to work out in a more. . .naked kind of way. In fact, the idea held a hell of a lot of appeal.

"No to you going," Faith answered. "I'd have to be crazy – or crazier at least – to want a hot chick to leave my bed."

Faith smirked as Buffy chuckled lightly.

"It's actually my bed, and you're right, you'd have to be crazy," Buffy agreed. "Or maybe just not interested."

"I'm interested, B," Faith told her. "You know I'm interested, but. . ."

"Does there have to be a but?" Buffy asked, getting tired of the constant merry-go-round that was their relationship.

It seemed a little strange that she was the one pushing for this, but she guessed that Faith was wary for a very good reason. Perhaps because Buffy had spent most of her time pushing Faith away, not pulling her closer. It was a shift, and obviously Faith couldn't trust it yet.

"But we're not exactly great around each other," Faith reminded.

"We were when you went back to Sunnydale. I thought we were great then," Buffy said, remembering not only how easy it had been around Faith then, but also their kiss and the way they'd fallen into each other so perfectly.

"This is the real world though, B," Faith countered. "We're not from different places or times now, we're here, with everything else influencing us, with our memories, the past. . ."

"What did I say about the past, Faith?" Buffy prompted. "We leave it there." Pushing a lock of unruly dark hair away from Faith's forehead, Buffy desperately wanted to lean in and kiss her. It hurt to hold back. "I miss you."

Faith crumbled at that, unable to fight any longer. She wanted Buffy and always had. She wanted more between them, even though it would probably be a passionate nightmare that burnt itself out quickly and left them both heart broken.

"I miss you too," Faith said, her voice low and hoarse as she closed the distance between them, every inch of her body willing her forward though her sense was throwing up warning signs.

Their lips met, as they had done once before, in a slow caress. They didn't rush or push. They didn't grab or try to get the upper hand with each other. And no matter how much Faith wanted to pull Buffy to her and take all she could, she held back, just feeling. Just enjoying Buffy against her lips, the heat between them and the building arousal as it trickled through them.

As if the slow, soft movement of their mouths together cast a spell over Faith she began to feel drowsy despite her growing arousal. Her body was fatigued and her mind worn out; the rest she'd had since coming back had been short and fitful at best.

"Are you ok?" Buffy whispered across Faith's lips as her hand caressed her cheek once more.

"Still tired," Faith admitted sullenly.

The last thing she wanted was to poop out at such a crucial time, but she was fighting against whatever magic had blasted through her body when she'd come back only hours before. It was getting late now and all Faith wanted to do was lay down.

"You should sleep," Buffy said, moving back a little.

"I'd rather keep doing this," Faith responded, moving her lips over Buffy's again.

She sucked gently on Buffy's upper lip as Buffy did the same to her full lower lip, and every part of Faith wanted more, but she couldn't stop herself from leaning into Buffy tiredly.

"Lie down," Buffy suggested, gently pushing on Faith's shoulders. "And sleep."

She gave Faith a long, slightly deeper kiss that made Faith tingle between her legs. There was no way she wanted to let go of Buffy right now, even if she didn't have the strength to stay awake to enjoy her.

"Really don't wanna sleep now," Faith admitted drowsily, pulling on Buffy's hips so she almost fell on top of her as she laid back in the bed.

Done fighting, Faith just wanted Buffy and no matter the cost, she wanted her as soon as possible.

Running her fingers through Faith's hair Buffy gave her a gentle smile. "I need you fully awake tomorrow," she reminded, placing a kiss on Faith's lower lip.

Unwilling to just let Buffy walk out now, Faith held her a little firmer.

"Stay?" she asked.

Buffy raised her eyebrows. Just moments before Faith had been trying to find every excuse for this not to happen, but after a little smooching it seemed she was much more pliable. It was something to keep in mind for future reference. Still, she really did want Faith to sleep.

"Faith, it's sleep you need."

"Stay anyway," Faith pressed. "I promise I'll sleep."

She gave Buffy a wiggle of her eyebrows and Buffy couldn't help but laugh and shake her head. She really had missed Faith. This Faith.

"I guess it is my bed," Buffy pointed out. "And I wasn't keen on the idea of sharing with Dawn tonight."

Taking a deep breath, Buffy stood up and surveyed the scene for a moment: Faith in her bed, the sheets held back for her on the opposite side as Faith smiled almost devilishly at her. There was no saying no. The only problem was wondering if she could hold herself back; she was yearning and wet for Faith from just their kiss and needed her desperately.

"Hop in, B," Faith encouraged, barely able to keep her eyes open.

With only a little hesitation, Buffy moved around to the other side of the bed, switching off the bedside lamp before unbuckling her pants, pushing them down and kicking them off. She'd leave her tee shirt on for now as Faith was wearing one too. Climbing in slowly, she noticed that Faith was already practically asleep. It didn't bother her too much and she got as close as she could without crowding her.

"Closer," Faith said huskily, lifting an arm so she could wrap it around Buffy.

Smiling in the dark, Buffy scooted closer and sighed happily for the first time in a long time. Their legs entwined without asking, soft curves finding each other as they settled down. Buffy could hardly bear the pounding of her own heart and the twisting in her stomach but she did her best to relax. Though it was hard given the fact she was now pressed so close to Faith, and given the fact she couldn't help but think of all the naughty things she wanted to do to her.

A rush of thoughts, of images and fantasies she'd suppressed for a long time, filtered through her mind. She badly wanted to touch Faith, to know her with her hands, her fingers, her mouth. It'd been a long while since Buffy had been down that road with anyone – the last being Spike unfortunately – and she was feeling it. She couldn't stop thinking about peeling Faith's clothes off, parting her legs, and pleasuring her until Faith was panting her name.

It was a terribly distracting thought, and as Faith began to snore softly, Buffy wondered if she should take the opportunity to sneak away. She wasn't sure she could sleep this close to Faith. Yet again, she didn't want to leave her. Not now. Not with what they had to face the following day.

Buffy stayed, trying to keep her hands to herself, but allowing herself to indulge just a little in the secret fantasies she'd never before dared to imagine would actually happen.

But if you dared to dream, surely there was hope. She had Faith in her arms, her mother was safe, her friends and family were all around her.

Buffy dared to dream.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: A quick thank you for the reviews, guys :)

Chapter Six

A wisp of smoke spiralled into the warm night air, dissipating into the soft breeze that blew across the LA rooftops as the world continued below, unaware of how close it had come to total devastation. People slept peacefully in their beds, in others people's beds, or wherever they could lay their heads and their troubles for the night, and Faith. . .she watched as the city laid out before her sparkled in its seductive overcoat of promise.

Sat alone, smoking the last of her cigarettes, she ran a hand through her hair, wincing slightly as her muscles reminded her of the struggles they'd gone through earlier that day. Faith was tired, but it had been chaos trying to help get the new slayers settled and everybody calm enough to relax and take stock of what had happened. Things were a bit calmer now inside, in the Hyperion, but Faith had needed some time out. Even though she'd just recently been in prison where alone-time was a thing to be cherished, she was used to her own space when she needed it.

People knew when to back off and leave her to her own thoughts. Thankfully Buffy had said nothing as she'd watched Faith climb the stairs towards the roof terrace. In the almost unnatural quiet up above the apartments and buildings that surrounded the hotel, Faith could reflect. She could arrange what had happened in her head in a way that Angel had taught her, in order to find some semblance of sanity and tranquillity inside.

The day had been long, and hard. They'd fought the First, and won. They'd beaten the odds, though they'd lost people along the way. People that mattered.

She may not have known them very well, but the few new slayers that had fallen – she felt those losses the most – and Robin, Spike, and Anya, well. . .they'd be missed. They'd given their lives so others could fight another day. So the rest of the world could carry on, oblivious of their sacrifice.

Buffy had tried to put things in some perspective whilst talking with the girls once they'd reached the safety of Angel's hotel, telling them that those that had died had done so for better reasons than most. Had done so because of their courage and their strength. Had done so in order for everybody else to continue on, to fight another day. To beat another evil. To live.

Faith had done her best to protect as many of the new slayers as she could, but the battle had been tougher than any of them could probably have imagined. She remembered when Buffy had fallen, crashing to the ground and offering Faith the scythe as she bled into the dirt; it had hurt Faith in places deep within her to see Buffy like that. Her heart had stopped beating as she'd watched her fall, only beginning again when she saw her scrabble to her feet with renewed strength.

They'd pushed harder then, and every one of them counted. Every slayer, every Scooby, every person that was there that day for the greater good.

Their victory – though it had come at a price – had been glorious.

With a soft smile, Faith put out her cigarette and wiped her hands on her thighs. She still needed to shower and change and there was blood in the cracks of her palms. There was dust in places she hadn't even known she had places, and her clothes were just about ready to be pulled off and thrown in the garbage.

She felt good, though. Sad that they'd lost people, but good all the same.

More of them were alive than dead; Giles and Joyce were there, practically parenting them. Dawn still annoying them, the Scoobs – minus Anya – staying strong at Buffy's side. There was more to be grateful for than sad about for losing. They'd all done well. All done their part.

Footsteps coming softly up the iron stairs behind her made Faith tense up for a moment, but she realised it was Buffy before Buffy even spoke so she relaxed and let the fatigue of battle soothe her edges.

"Can I join you?" Buffy asked, her voice a little rough from shouting and speeches. "I can go if you. . ."

"Stay," Faith said, recalling the night before when she'd asked that very same thing. "Think I'm done being alone now."

Her own voice was hoarse and weary, but she was happy to see Buffy and it must have sounded obvious as Buffy smiled and sat on an old wooden chair beside her.

"It got a little manic in there huh," Buffy said, scratching at the bandage under her tee shirt where her wound from earlier was quickly healing.

It still hurt Buffy a bit, but not half as much as losing some of her friends and some of the slayers did. She'd feel that forever.

"It's so quiet up here," she continued when Faith didn't respond. "You always expect LA to be noisy, hectic. But this is kind of peaceful."

"Yeah," Faith said, unsure of her own voice as she felt Buffy's presence warm her through.

Though things had definitely changed between them, certainly after what had happened that morning, Faith still didn't know for sure where they stood. She didn't know how she should be with Buffy. How they should talk, or act with each other. She didn't know what came next for them now. Now that she'd done her duty and helped them out.

"Are you ok?" Buffy asked after a minute or two, placing her hand gently on Faith's forearm.

She didn't want to push her or presume to know how Faith was feeling, but the day had been a rollercoaster – for them as just people as well as slayers.

That morning, the day had begun in a way that Buffy would never have imagined it would just a few days before. Before Faith had come back from the past, bringing new memories with her, feelings, her mom. Everything had changed, yet. . .they had always been that way. Buffy was still getting used to this thing between them. Was still letting it seep into her mind, and her body.

She'd woken up alone that morning, a sense of dread and foreboding about the fight ahead washing over her, and a sense of loss biting at her when she realised Faith was no longer in bed with her.

They'd spent the night close together, holding each other in some form or another, though not yet in a way that lovers would. It had been nice. No, it had been more than nice and Buffy had felt her heart drop when she'd woken up alone. Her hand had searched the bed beside her before she'd opened her eyes to find it empty. She'd been sure Faith wanted them to be together – closer at least – but she doubted it then, right up until Faith strolled back into the room clad only in a towel.

Faith's hair was damp, her footfalls quiet on the carpet. She looked up to see Buffy watching her and Faith couldn't help but smile, though she quickly hid it and looked away. She didn't exactly feel comfortable wearing her heart on her sleeve, especially with Buffy.

"Took a quick shower," she said by way of explanation for her state of undress.

Glancing at the clock by her bed, Buffy furrowed her brow and sighed. She didn't want to get up yet. It was early, way early, and the longer she could put off the inevitable – fighting, stabbing, slaying – the better.

"Sorry, I got used to stupid-o'clock starts in prison," Faith said, running her fingers through her damp hair.

"It's ok," Buffy responded. "I just don't wanna get up."

Faith chuckled, enjoying the calm before the storm, enjoying being able to see Buffy with her guard down, her hair mussed and her body relaxed beneath the sheets. She'd been tempted to stay in bed right next to her when she'd woken up half an hour earlier, but Faith's thoughts had been straying and she doubted she'd be able to just lay there without letting her hands wander. She doubted Buffy would have taken too kindly to being fondled in her sleep.

"Sleep some more," Faith offered. "I just felt kinda grimy after the whole magical mystery tour deal."

"Do you feel better today? Less headachey?" Buffy asked, only realising the connotations of her question when Faith smirked.

"Headache's gone, B," Faith confirmed, her smirk still in tact. "All systems go."

Buffy gave Faith a little smirk of her own, watching every movement as Faith crossed the room and bent to pick her jeans off the floor.

"That's good to know," she responded, allowing a hint of flirtation to sneak out.

Faith looked over her shoulder, smiling more genuinely now as she folded her jeans and placed them on a chair. She wondered if Buffy had meant that in the way it seemed; she hoped she'd meant it that way. It seemed a little redundant now for them to skirt around their attraction to one another. They both knew they were attracted, and they both knew that things wouldn't stay the way they had. Things were changing for them, for the better. Faith was still a bit wary, however.

"Yunno, I never figured you for a snuggler," Buffy commented when Faith failed to respond.

With a chuckle, Faith walked closer to the bed, holding her towel in place as she shook her head at Buffy.

"Gotta blame the time travelling for that," she said. "It got me all out of whack; and you took advantage."

Buffy acted shocked that Faith could think such a thing, but then she shrugged her shoulders.

"Can't really blame me," Buffy intoned, loving the way Faith's lips raised just a little at the edges whenever she was trying not to smile.

Something about the way Faith seemed so relaxed, so open, made Buffy feel confident. Not just confident about herself, but also about them. About what they could be.

"Come back to bed," Buffy suggested before Faith could get dressed and disappear from her bedroom.

Raising her eyebrow slightly, the corners of her mouth quirking up just enough for Buffy to notice, Faith looked down at her towel and then back at Buffy.

"I'm kinda naked now, B," she pointed out unnecessarily.

"To be honest," Buffy began. "That doesn't actually seem like a bad thing."

Faith laughed and Buffy felt her heart swelling.

"So you want me to get back in there. . .naked," Faith stated, unable to keep the grin from her face.

Buffy gave it a momentary thought, but her body was in no doubt. She wanted Faith back in her arms, back in her bed, and though the fact Faith was naked made her nervous as hell it also gave her a thrill of expectation she didn't think she'd ever felt before.

"I do," Buffy replied.

She turned back the covers so Faith could crawl in, watching as the towel wrapped around Faith slowly dropped to the floor and pooled at her feet. She was most definitely completely naked, and completely drop-dead gorgeous.

It took Buffy's breath away and she had to clear her throat, feeling almost inadequate compared to Faith as she watched her lightly bronzed body crawl up onto the bed. Faith's legs slipped under the covers and Buffy wondered if she might be drooling as a strong thigh brushed against her own, and a flat stomach tightened as Faith arranged the blanket loosely back over her.

"So," Faith began, "you wanna sleep more?"

Her eyes seemed darker than normal, pulling Buffy into them as she tried to kick start her mind – it had been rendered incapable of thinking after finally seeing Faith in the nude.

Slipping closer to Buffy, Faith slid her hand over Buffy's hip as she faced her, trying to see what Buffy was thinking and feeling. She could definitely see desire in Buffy's eyes, but there was also a hint of fear. It didn't deter Faith – she knew Buffy wanted more from them, from her. She didn't doubt Buffy's attraction, or her need to act on it. But she didn't exactly want to rush Buffy or get this wrong. Faith was still treading lightly, placing every footfall as safely as she could, hoping she wasn't about to tread on a mine.

"Or do ya wanna. . .do something else?" she asked, letting her voice drop lower so it rasped sensually.

They were much closer now, almost touching along the length of them – almost. Buffy could feel Faith's breath, soft across her lips. She wanted to taste Faith again, more than before. She wanted to dip her tongue into the little valley in Faith's lower lip. She wanted to take that lip between her own and suck, nibble, make Faith moan in need for her. Hoping she was capable, Buffy nodded slowly.

"Something else," she replied, her voice just above that of a whisper.

Leaning forward, Buffy brushed her lips against Faith's, barely kissing her at all at first. She felt the hand on her hip squeeze gently and moved languidly across Faith's mouth with her own; finding comfort in the soft, plump, distinctly feminine sensation of kissing another girl. In all her imaginings about Faith, she'd never quite gotten this feeling right. This feeling – on the brink of something more, on the brink of letting passion break the surface – this feeling was perfect.

"You sure?" Faith asked, speaking against Buffy's lips.

Buffy had never been more sure of anything in her whole life. This was what she wanted.

"Yes," she replied, hearing her own voice tremble.

Surging forward after a moment's hesitation, Faith pressed her lips more fully to Buffy's, kissing her with more passion and hunger. Showing Buffy what she felt with her mouth as Buffy parted her lips and allowed her entry. Their tongues slid together, slowly at first; tentative strokes and flicks that made Faith burn from the inside. She heard Buffy moan and pulled her against her, bringing them completely together.

Another moan escaped Buffy and she wrapped her arm around Faith, holding tight and letting the kiss deepen; their hearts pounding as the fire between them glowed hot and engulfed them. She sucked on Faith's lower lip and smiled as Faith groaned, feeling bold in that moment; her nerves falling away with the sheet as she pushed it down to reveal Faith's bare chest to her once more.

Buffy wanted Faith to know how real this was, how much it was something that Buffy wanted, needed. She couldn't leave Faith in any doubt as to her intentions or her desire for them to be more than just friends. There was only one way to show her that in this moment, and Buffy knew if she held back her nerves she'd be able to do just that.

"I want you," Buffy said, the raw need in her voice clearly evident; she hoped to God Faith didn't say no. "I want to show you how much."

Faith's heart was thumping in her chest, her body desperately needing Buffy. She'd dreamed of this moment before – even in times when she had hated that dream – and now it was happening. It was almost surreal, but Faith kept focused, letting Buffy lead them where she wanted for now. Letting Buffy show her the truth of her words.

Without asking permission, Faith tugged at Buffy's tee shirt, pulling it off over her head and throwing it out of the way. Buffy wasn't wearing a bra and Faith pushed the sheet away from her, letting her eyes devour what her hands and mouth wanted to posses. She kissed Buffy, hard and hungry before encouraging Buffy further onto her back and moving lower, lips working over Buffy's jaw and throat, heading downwards. She slid the hand at Buffy's hip upwards, fingers brushing against the swell of Buffy's breast, ready to take that step. Take the step that would forever change what they were to each other.

But Buffy didn't want to be distracted just yet; though she was quite enjoying the direction Faith's mouth was headed she pushed at Faith's shoulders.

"Want me to stop?" Faith asked, pulling away with the pressure on her shoulders, looking into Buffy's slightly unfocused eyes as her hand stilled.

"No, just. . ." Buffy's gaze took in the sight of Faith hovering just above her and she licked her lips.

There really was no mistaking how attracted she was to Faith now. No brushing it aside or pretending that it was something else. Faith was beautiful, and Buffy wanted to explore her, show her, do to her the things she didn't even really know how to do. She really did want Faith, and now was the time to take her. Somehow, after this first time, Buffy doubted Faith would be quite so willing to let Buffy be on top. And though the prospect of Faith being sexually aggressive with her was incredibly appealing, for this time, this moment, Buffy had to be the one to take them down this path. She wanted to be the one.

Without warning, Buffy flipped them over until she was resting over Faith, holding herself up on her hands, letting her gaze roam and her body fall into Faith until they fit perfectly together. Faith opened her legs so that Buffy was against her, and though Buffy still had her panties on they both sighed at the contact.

"We're really doing this huh?" Faith asked, her eyes almost black and her hands trailing over Buffy's back and sides in a way that was making Buffy dizzy.

"We are," Buffy assured, dropping down so she could kiss Faith again, missing her lips already.

As their breasts pressed together and Faith pushed up against Buffy they both moaned, gasped, tightened against each other as their need became more and more evident.

They continued to kiss, tongues delving, teeth nibbling and mouths devouring as their bodies began to move with the need for friction. Buffy was incredibly wet already and she swooned when she realised she could also feel just how wet Faith was too. Rolling her hips, Buffy encouraged a sound that was almost a growl from Faith as she sought to feel more of Faith's wetness against her panties. The heat between them was incredible, and the feel of soft, slick flesh against her own had Buffy forgetting that she'd never done this before. It didn't matter that this was new, different, it felt wonderful and she had to show Faith that she was more than ready for this to be what they were from now on.

Travelling down Faith's neck with her lips, Buffy sucked when Faith moaned and flicked her tongue when Faith gasped. She reached wonderfully full breasts and pushed away the little worries and fears in her mind that she'd be bad at this, or do something wrong. It really didn't sound like she was doing anything wrong as Faith made small noises that only served to encourage Buffy as well as make her even wetter.

Buffy's centre twitched and her stomach flipped about as she took a nipple between her lips and sucked gently. She kissed around it and used her tongue, but Faith clearly enjoyed the sucking most of all so she alternated between both breasts, enjoying herself just as much as Faith seemed to be.

"Jesus, B," Faith gasped as Buffy scraped her teeth over a now swollen nipple.

She couldn't help but smile and do it again, grinning wider as Faith frantically tried to push Buffy's panties down so they could. . .

"I wanna fuck you so bad," Faith rasped, breathless and sexy, her strength almost knocking Buffy onto her back. But Buffy wasn't done with Faith yet.

"And I wanna fuck you," Buffy responded, lightly holding Faith down. "I wanna touch you. Make you come."

Their gazes were locked and Buffy could see just how much Faith wanted that, and she could also see just how much Faith seemed to like the things she was saying and the way she was saying them.

Buffy's hand worked its way between them before Faith reacted; fingers tripping over hard muscles and soft skin, enjoying the journey. Though she felt her nerves lingering now, trying to press back into her as she felt the first brush of dark hair against her fingertips.

"Don't stop," Faith breathed, her eyes almost closed as Buffy paused just for a moment.

With a smile that came right from her heart, Buffy leaned down and captured Faith's lips with her own as she pushed lower. Her fingers found Faith hot and wet and they both moaned into each other's mouths, years of desire escaping them.

"God, you feel good," Buffy said, bringing their foreheads together as she slowly explored between Faith's legs.

Faith arched up into the touch but she didn't want to push Buffy into going too fast; in fact, she was quite enjoying the slowness, the tantalising sensuality of Buffy's fingers gently spreading her open and discovering her.

"You're so wet for me," Buffy continued, marvelling at the fact, slicking her fingers in Faith's juices and finding the place that made Faith tremble beneath her.

She stroked over Faith's clit, rubbing it gently and slipping over and around it as Faith moved to her touch.

"Oh yeah, that's good," Faith sighed, finding Buffy's almost delicate touch more of a turn on than she'd imagine such gentleness could cause.

They kissed again; open mouthed, slow, heated kisses that threatened to overwhelm Faith as Buffy's fingers undid her little by little. As Buffy stroked and rubbed, Faith found herself trembling, ready to come much quicker than was probably impressive. She bucked up against Buffy, feeling her muscles tighten and the fingers of climax pulling her to her limit.

Though Faith normally preferred hard and fast to soft and tender, and liked drawing out her climax as long as she could, fucking in every way possible until she finally gave in, this was perfect. This was what she needed right now from Buffy.

"Fuck," Faith gasped, ready to fall. "I'm gonna come."

She kissed Buffy hard, taking her face between her hands as Buffy continued her sensual assault on her swollen clit. She was almost there. Almost. Just a little more and. . .

"Buffy?" came Willow's voice from the other side of the room as she knocked on the door. "We're all nearly ready, waiting downstairs for. . ."

Buffy ignored Willow, concentrating on Faith's mouth and on Faith's increasingly wet pussy as she rubbed quickly over her hard clit, pressing firmly against it as Faith shuddered all over.

"Come," Buffy instructed, pulling away from Faith's mouth to whisper in her ear.

Willow knocked again, but Faith was too far gone to stop now, and thankfully Buffy wasn't going anywhere. She pushed up against Buffy, a loud moan escaping her as Buffy rubbed her perfectly, just quick enough, just hard enough to send her tumbling over the edge.

"Oh, fuck," Faith panted, coming harder than she'd expected to and clinging tight to Buffy's back. She had no doubt that Buffy would have a few scratches there now.

"That's so hot," Buffy said breathlessly as Faith's body quivered until it finally relaxed.

Faith was breathing hard, her limbs relaxing as Buffy moved slightly to her side. She held Buffy close, however, unwilling to let her go just yet. Thankfully, Willow was no longer banging on the door, and Faith tried not to care what she might have thought of the noises coming from Buffy's room.

Her fingers still between Faith's legs, Buffy couldn't stop smiling. It really had been pretty damn hot to see Faith unravel in that way. To see her with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted, body trembling in its orgasm as she came. She wanted to remember forever what that looked like, what it felt like, and how the scent of Faith's come made her mouth water and her hands want to continue in their pursuit of pleasure.

She wished they had all day, to explore, to fuck, to make love. She never wanted to move from this spot. . .but they had to. Duty came first. Well, duty came after Faith did obviously, Buffy thought with a grin, but now that she _had_ it was time to move.

"I guess we should get up before Willow comes back," Buffy sighed, slipping her fingers from Faith, though she would have quite happily kept them there all day.

It was her new favourite place. Ever.

Faith groaned, desperately wanting to touch Buffy, to make her come too. She thought they could maybe do it again before Willow came back up, but Buffy was already moving.

"What about you?" Faith drawled, running her hand up Buffy's back as she sat up beside Faith.

"We don't have time," Buffy replied regretfully, looking down at Faith apologetically.

"But. . ." Faith began to whine. She seriously needed to get her hands on Buffy.

"Later, I promise," Buffy interrupted, giving Faith a gentle smile, then leaning down to kiss her lightly on the lips. "And then we'll have all night."

Faith wasn't sure she liked that idea. What if later never came? She didn't want to infer that they'd have trouble beating the First, however, so she just nodded, a slight furrow to her brow as she watched Buffy get up from the bed and get dressed.

It was later now, and as they sat on the roof of Angel's hotel, nursing their battle scars, Faith tried not to hope too hard that they'd spend the night together in the way that she wanted. A lot had happened that day. A lot had been lost and she could see how weary Buffy was. She certainly wasn't going to press Buffy on the matter, but her heart longed to be close to her just as much as her body did.

Hopefully, they were at least going to share the same bed, or even the same room.

Faith crossed her fingers and with a glance at Buffy, made a wish that her heart wouldn't get broken again.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Walking back down the stairs together to the hotel lobby, Faith and Buffy brushed hands on more than one occasion, sending tingles through each other, promises unspoken and hopes barely dared to hope. They hadn't talked about where they were going to sleep that night. Hadn't spoken about what they'd done that morning. Faith wasn't sure she wanted to break the bubble by bringing either subject up – she was quite content remembering their morning together. The way Buffy had touched her, held her, loved her. It had been perfect. . .up until the point Willow had brought reality crashing around them.

Now they still had slayers to deal with, grief to contend with, and Faith didn't want to put any pressure on Buffy. It had to be up to Buffy how this went, how they progressed. She had the most to lose.

"Everybody's settled, Buffy," Giles said as he approached them, his clothing still dusty as he ineffectively wiped at his glasses. "The rooms have all been allocated, and families informed of the. . .deaths."

He lowered his eyes, wishing he hadn't had to inform anybody of any deaths, but war always produced casualties. Luckily, most of the girls had told their families of the situation so they had been somewhat prepared, but really, there was no preparation for losing a child, or a sister, or a brother. With a sigh he replaced his glasses, ignoring the fact they were still smudged as Buffy nodded solemnly.

"Is there still space for us?" Buffy asked, feeling the day weigh heavy on her. She needed to shower and lie down.

"There's only one room left I'm afraid," he informed them. "But Angel said he could book a room close by at another hotel if needed."

"That won't be necessary. I'm glad the younger girls are settled at least," Buffy told him. She'd wanted them to come first; have priority of the sleeping arrangements. It's the least she could do at this point. "I'm sure Faith won't mind sharing with me."

She glanced over at Faith, noting that Faith was trying her best not to show just how much she wouldn't mind.

"Yeah, it's cool," Faith said with a shrug.

Faith hoped that Buffy wasn't being pushed into this situation, but something about the small smile on her lips made Faith feel a little more comfortable. She tried to relax and just go with the flow. It was time to stop battling everything around her in order to keep herself protected.

"Well, I think I'm going to head up," Giles said wearily, looking towards the stairs that lead to the rooms. "It's been a very long day."

He wasn't wrong, it was late and Faith felt the pull of a nice soft bed.

"We should probably go too," Faith suggested, giving Buffy a small nod as Giles made his way to bed. "There'll be a lot to do tomorrow."

Though Buffy didn't want to think about tomorrow and the struggle that was still ahead, she knew Faith was right. They needed tonight to heal, to mend, to rest and let go a little before it all came crashing down on them once more. They may have beaten the big bad, but he wasn't the only one out there. There would be others, and they needed to rebuild.

"You don't mind sharing do you?" Buffy asked tentatively as they walked slowly up the stairs to the room Giles had handed them the key for.

"Do you?" Faith countered.

"No," Buffy replied almost shyly, looking up through her eyelashes at Faith.

It felt silly to be so coy after what they'd done that morning, but this was all still so new to Buffy. She wasn't sure how far to push or what to do or say around Faith. Guessing they'd figure it out eventually, she tried not to worry about the details. They'd been through a lot yet here they were. Together.

They made the rest of the way in silence, tension sparking between them that neither of them could ignore. Though they were bruised and battered, they both yearned to touch one another. Both yearned to be as close as possible. To forget everything but who they were and what they meant to each other.

"Buffy?" Angel called, coming up behind them just before they reached their room.

They'd spoken with him at length when they'd arrived, but as he'd been helping to organise the accommodations for the girls and the Scoobs Buffy had seen very little of him for the rest of the night. It made her stop and think; had he really dropped that far out of her life that she'd almost forget he was even there?

He was very much there now, however, hovering close by as if he needed to speak to Buffy urgently. Buffy had seen that pained expression on his face plenty of times before.

"I'll be in in a minute," Buffy said to Faith, watching as Faith opened the door.

Faith paused to look into Buffy's eyes before she entered the room and Buffy really wished she could follow right away. It was probably best to get whatever it was that was playing on Angel's mind out of the way first, however. She didn't want to be disturbed once she was on the other side of that door with Faith.

"Is there a problem?" Buffy asked Angel, stepping close to him where he lingered.

"No, no problem," he responded, glancing to where Faith softly closed the door behind her. "But can we talk?"

Buffy wondered how impolite it would be for her to tell him no, and that she just really wanted to get clean and lay down. . .with Faith. On Faith. Whichever happened first. She doubted he'd be too keen on hearing that. He was a sensitive guy under all the scowling and brooding.

"Of course," she said, following reluctantly as he traipsed back down the stairs to the lobby.

She wanted to stop him before he got too far and ask how long this might take, but he'd done a lot of arranging to give the slayers, and her family, somewhere to stay. She couldn't very well throw that all back in his face by appearing ungrateful and rude. When he got into the small elevator that went to his basement abode, holding the door open for her to join him, she did finally stop following and start figuring out a way to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Can't we just talk up here?" Buffy asked, hoping it didn't sound too harsh.

She was extremely grateful that he was helping them out and didn't want to grumble too much, but really there was no more her brain could take today. No more her heart could take.

"Oh, ok," he said, trying not to frown too hard.

Leading Buffy back towards the little office he occupied in the hotel, Angel gave her a longing look that made Buffy wonder what was going through his mind. He was never so easy to read, but right now there was obviously something on his mind to do with them. Buffy wasn't certain how she knew, but she just did. They weren't about to talk of the First or Angel's new buddies Wolfram & Hart. It was something else. Something personal.

She wasn't sure if she was ready to hear what he had to say.

"I'm really tired," Buffy said, hoping he'd get the hint. "If this can wait until morning. . ."

"It can't," he said, the weight of his words settling between them and making Buffy a little worried. "Well, it could," he continued. "But I thought you'd want to know as soon as. . .I just. . ."

Buffy raised her eyebrows; it wasn't usual for Angel to be stuck for words. He was finding it difficult now to look her in the eye and she stepped towards him, placing a hand on his arm.

"Tell me," she encouraged, her lungs tightening, ready for bad news.

"I know things are a little. . .crazy right now," Angel began, moving slightly away from Buffy and sitting on the edge of his desk. "But something happened last night. Here."

Ok, now she really was worried. What had happened?

"What is it?" she pressed, growing impatient.

"As you know, I've taken over Wolfram & Hart."

She did know that, though it still baffled her how or why he'd done it. She trusted his judgment, however, so whatever his plans were she was sure they were for the greater good. Buffy didn't doubt his loyalty to the cause.

He paused, possibly waiting for Buffy to tell him he was crazy for getting involved with the company, but she remained silent, watching the play of emotions cross his face.

"Anyway, I was given an offer by the science team there, and I took it," he continued, appearing guarded yet hopeful. "The decision didn't come easy but. . .I let them purge me of my curse."

Buffy held her breath, just staring at Angel as if he'd grown another head or a tail or. . .a soul that her love would no longer destroy. Angel gave her a few moments, not continuing or explaining further. He sat perched on the edge of the desk with his dark eyes hooded, hands gripping the table. When Buffy finally found her voice, unsure what the information was doing to her insides as she felt the world tipping on its head, she found nothing but a whisper on her lips.

"How?" she asked.

"Old magics, new science," he told her. "I'm no longer cursed," he repeated, as if she hadn't quite heard him the first time.

Buffy had definitely heard him, but she was finding it hard to process the information. Angel. Cured. Able to love fully.

Her brain couldn't wrap around it.

"So, it's. . .you can. . ." Buffy stuttered, finding a chair behind her and sitting down heavily.

Letting her gaze drop to the floor, Buffy tried not to let her imagination run wild. She tried not to remember how much she'd loved him, how much she'd wanted him, and how hard it had broken her heart after they'd discovered they could never make love again. It still hurt in her chest. Still made her feel desolate.

What exactly was he saying? That they could now be together? Properly?

Buffy shook her head, not wanting to jump to conclusions or complicate things further than might be necessary.

"I won't lose my soul if we. . ." Angel didn't continue but Buffy knew what he was getting at. "Not that we have to. . .yunno - but I just thought I'd let you know."

He was staring down at the floor now too, his brow heavy and his eyes taking on a distinct puppy-dog look. Buffy guessed that he expected her to jump around with excitement, and if she was being honest with herself she did kind of feel like doing that. At least a little. But now was not a good time to hear this and she didn't know how to react.

"I know, it's a lot to take in," Angel continued, allowing Buffy to think about the implications of what he'd told her. "Buffy, you know I still. . ."

She knew what he was about to say and Buffy wasn't sure she could handle hearing it right then. Standing up, Buffy began to pace, shaking her head and feeling her tired body protest every step. He still loved her; she knew that without him having to tell her. She saw it in the way he looked at her, the way he spoke. Doubting they'd ever really, truly get over their once doomed relationship, Buffy had to concede that she did love him too. But things were different now. She'd sailed that ship. They'd crashed that ship, scattering it across jagged rocks; forever unsalvageable.

But here he was, telling her they could salvage it. They could have what they had again, better, with no boundaries.

"Angel, I don't know if I can deal with this right now," Buffy said, raising a hand to her brow and rubbing at her forehead.

Her head was spinning, her stomach in knots.

"Just tell me you'll think about it," Angel pressed, standing up and moving away from the desk.

"Think about it?" Buffy asked. "There was a time I did nothing _but_ think about it. I don't know if I can go through all that again."

Buffy had stopped pacing and Angel moved closer to her, his arms aching to be around her, to comfort her, to prove to her that he could love her now like the man she wanted and needed him to be.

"We can be. . ."

"We can be what?" Buffy asked, interrupting. "A couple? Partners? Lovers?"

She practically whispered the last word, feeling overwhelmed. As if somebody had told her to stand on the edge of a cliff and jump off, Buffy held herself stiff, trying not to let herself stumble.

If he'd come to her a year ago, a month ago, even a week ago things might have been different. She might have run into his arms and held him tight, take him to bed to prove that what he said was true. But a lot had happened lately. Hell, a lot had happened since the last time she'd allowed herself to hope they could ever have a happy ending.

Was this her happy ending? Was he the prize she could now take for saving the world yet again?

"I don't know what to think," Buffy told him, sighing as her shoulders sagged and tears formed in her eyes. "I loved you so much."

The tears began to flow freely and Buffy allowed Angel to scoop her into his arms so he could hold her against him. It brought back so many memories. So many past hopes and dreams. He was always hers and she could feel it in his tender embrace.

Having waited what felt like forever for Buffy to return, Faith pushed open the door to their room, looking longingly back at the bed she'd just been laying on. Her hair was damp from the shower and she was only wearing her panties and a tee shirt due to the fact she really didn't want to have to put back on her gross, blood splattered clothes. Hoping she didn't bump into anybody, she went in search of Buffy.

It might have been a bad idea to leave the room rather than sit back and wait, but she couldn't help herself. No doubt Buffy was just in a deep conversation with Angel about what had happened in Sunnydale with the First, and possibly about Angel's insane notion to take over Wolfram & Hart, but whatever is was that was keeping Buffy occupied Faith seriously wanted her to hurry it up.

"Jesus, what's up with that?" Faith questioned herself, shaking her head at her own sudden clinginess.

She decided she could always say she'd been in search of food if Buffy got pissed at her for barging in, even though she'd already had her fill of two whole pizzas that night. Faith kept walking, padding down the stairs and listening out for voices. Whatever Angel and Buffy were discussing it was none of her business, she knew that, but as she heard soft voices and the sound of tears she slowed her pace and trod as lightly as she could.

As she neared the office where it was clear Buffy was talking in hushed tones to Angel she practically held her breath, hating herself for prying but unable to avoid it. The door was open just a crack. Just enough for Faith to listen in.

"We could take it slow." Faith heard Angel say. "I know this is a big decision."

"A little while back it wouldn't have been that big," Buffy responded to him.

Faith heard Buffy sigh and it sounded like she was blowing her nose. A twisting sensation in Faith's gut made her want to turn and run, but as if glued to the spot she remained where she was, just outside the door.

"There'd be nothing in the way this time," Angel said, sounding almost like he was pleading his case for something. Something Faith wasn't sure she wanted to know. "Well, apart from the normal things like demons and prophecies, and the odd apocalypse now and then."

Buffy chuckled but she sounded sad, or maybe just unsure.

The sound of shuffling made Faith take a step back, but nobody came towards the door. Using all her slayer stealth, Faith moved forwards again, closer this time so she could just about peek through the small crack in the door. What she saw made her stomach knot up and her heart ache. Angel's arms were around Buffy and one of Buffy's hands tenderly touched his cheek.

"I wish you'd told me this a month ago," Buffy said. "I wish. . ."

Again, Buffy sighed, but she gazed into Angel's eyes as if he were her salvation. As if he really was made for her. Just her.

Faith felt sick and her hands balled into tight fists, but she had no right to interrupt. No right to even stand there listening to them or witness Buffy moving on to her tiptoes to kiss Angel softly on the mouth.

Unable to stand witnessing any more, Faith closed her eyes, hearing the kiss grow deeper as she turned away. It took a moment for her to gather herself enough to sneak away without being caught, and as she reached the stairs she felt her eyes tear up. But Faith wasn't going to cry or let this break her. She was strong - stronger than she'd ever been - and if Buffy decided her life, her love, was still with Angel then Faith knew she'd have to accept that. Buffy and Angel shared something Faith could never hope to have, and there was no point in being bitter about it or blaming Buffy for wanting to be with him. She couldn't compete with their history. With their love.

Glancing back down towards the office as she reached the top of the stairs, Faith wondered if Buffy would even come to the room that night. She knew Buffy couldn't be with Angel in the sexual sense because of his curse, but after a day like they'd had she wouldn't blame Buffy for wanting to be close to the person she loved, even if just to be held.

Faith could only dream that it would be her that Buffy turned to for that, but it really was just a dream. No matter how much Buffy thought she wanted Faith, her ties to Angel were obviously stronger.

Maybe it was time for Faith to leave before she had to have the awkward conversation with Buffy that would lead to them deciding to be friends and nothing more.

"I can't do this," Buffy said softly as she pulled away from Angel.

His lips had felt cold, small, sparking nothing in her but memories of a past long gone. She loved him still, but not in the way she had. Not in the way he wanted her to continue loving him. There was nothing there but fond affection and a deep respect she'd never lose.

"There's no chance I'll lose my soul again," Angel assured, trying to find something in Buffy's eyes akin to the desire she'd once shown him.

"That's not why," Buffy told him, a tender hand touching his face as she smiled softly.

"You don't love me," he guessed, taking her hand from his face and holding it in his own.

"Not the way I did."

Angel nodded, the sadness and disappointment evident in his dark eyes. For a moment it appeared that he would try to convince her, but as he stepped back Buffy noticed the switch from hopeful to accepting cross his features. He'd never be a man to push, not like Spike. Angel, despite his tortured soul, was a gentle man, and Buffy wished in that moment that she could give him what he wanted. That she could give him her heart.

But somebody else already had her heart.

"Is there. . .somebody else?" Angel asked, looking disappointed with himself for posing the question.

If she answered truthfully it would hurt him more, but lying about the way she felt for Faith wasn't a good way to start any relationship. She wouldn't lie about Faith, or about what she wanted from her. She'd already lied enough to herself about it to last a lifetime. Still, she had to be cautious here; she knew the strong bond that had developed between Faith and Angel was an important one for them both, and she didn't want to risk it. She couldn't be the one to turn them against each other.

"I do love somebody else," Buffy admitted, her voice wavering just a little as she prepared to tell somebody for the first time that Faith was more important to her than anybody could ever guess.

"Riley?" Angel pondered aloud with barely restrained distaste.

"God no!" Buffy responded sharply, chuckling as she saw the confusion in Angel's eyes. "He was a nice guy but. . .no."

"Then you're grieving over Spike?" he guessed, really hoping that wasn't the case for many reasons.

With a sad shake of her head, Buffy told him no. "I didn't love him," she said. "I feel for him but. . ."

"I'm running out of options, unless it's somebody I don't know," Angel continued before Buffy started singing Spike's praises. He was proud of Spike for giving his life to help the cause, but he still didn't have to like him.

"I don't know if I should tell you," Buffy admitted, biting on her lower lip as she contemplated his possible reactions. "I don't want to hide this, though. It's too important to me."

"That serious?" he asked, moving closer to Buffy again and placing a hand on her shoulder. "You know you can tell me. I won't. . .go and beat him up, no matter how much I might want to."

His small grin made Buffy smile up at him. He'd always be a good man.

"Promise?" she asked, trying to keep the little bit of humour that had surfaced in the situation.

With a nod, Angel gave Buffy's shoulder a squeeze before stepping back enough to give her room to relax and tell him. He supposed it didn't really matter who it was, but Buffy obviously thought it important enough to tell him, and if he was being totally honest he wanted to know so he could do a thorough background check on the guy and make sure he was good enough for her.

"I'm in love with Faith," Buffy said, a tremble making Faith's name barely a whisper. She'd have to get used to this, as he was only the first of many that she'd have to tell. "We're. . .working on things."

For several moments Angel just stood there blinking. His mind worked overtime to figure out if Buffy was joking or not, to figure out if he should have known. Faith?

"Faith?" he questioned, more baffled in that moment than he could ever remembered being - and he'd been around for a very long time. "You and. . .Faith?"

He needed to sit down. Moving backwards until he collided with the desk and sat heavily on the edge, Angel tried his best not to let his emotions show. He felt a little hurt as well as confused. Hurt and. . .well, just hurt really. It's not that he didn't like Faith, or trust her, but the concept of Buffy being in love with her after they'd been through so much made him wonder just what he'd been doing wrong all this time. Maybe the way to Buffy's heart, truly to her heart, was to be strong enough to be her enemy. Strong enough to challenge her to the limits of her own morality – which of what Faith had done.

Angel didn't know right then if he approved or vehemently disapproved. He needed time to think about this, to process it. He didn't want to risk his friendship with Buffy by saying the wrong thing.

"I know," Buffy said softly, looking almost apologetic. "It's not easy to understand but it just feels right. I guess it always did but so many things got in the way; me, Faith going nuts, even you," she said. "I think we really have a chance this time, though. I want us to have a chance."

"You're sure?" Angel asked after taking a steadying breath.

"I'm sure," Buffy replied, telling herself as much as she was telling him. "And I should probably get back upstairs."

"Of course," he said, knowing he'd be blushing right now if it were possible for him to blush. He felt silly for propositioning her. Silly for thinking she'd always be his. "I'm sorry I. . ."

"No need," Buffy interrupted.

She moved towards him and placed a kiss on his cheek. This was the beginning of something new. A new life in a new city – probably, now that Sunnydale no longer existed. A new way of doing things, what with all the new slayers they had. And a new start for her and Faith.

She was determined to get it right.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Buffy said, turning and making her way to the door as he watched; a resigned smile crinkling his eyes. "There's a slayer upstairs waiting for me and I don't think she's known for her patience."

They both grinned at that, Buffy because she knew Faith would be agitated right now for more reasons than the obvious, and Angel because for a moment he allowed the baser side of his manhood to think about what Buffy had just said.

He instantly felt dirty, and then depressed.

With a wave goodnight Buffy made her way upstairs, looking forward to a long, hot shower, and a long, hot kiss from the girl who inexplicably had her heart and soul.

Tomorrow was another day.

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Buffy pushed open the hotel room door, peeking her head around it in case Faith was asleep already. She didn't want to barge in and wake her, even though she doubted Faith had really gone to sleep without her, or without at least making sure Buffy was coming back. Still, she was trying to be conscientious.

Her priority right now, right in this moment, was Faith. Buffy had made a very big, very important decision downstairs. She couldn't quite believe what Angel had told her at first, but even when she realised they could have what they'd always wanted in the past, her decision to turn the possibility down had come easier than it probably ought to have. Her choice had been clear. She didn't want to go backwards in life, she needed to move forward.

Faith was her forward. Her future. She was sure of it, and she couldn't wait to take Faith in her arms and show her.

Stepping into the room with a big smile, Buffy looked around, noticing the bedcovers were a little rumpled. There was no Faith on or in the bed, however. With closer perusal as she moved further into the room she realised Faith's clothes were nowhere to be seen, nor her boots or any sign of her presence. Buffy couldn't hear the shower running and her smile fell, her heartbeat quickening slightly. Though she had no reason to worry or become afraid that Faith had left for some reason, she couldn't stop the thought entering her head.

Maybe going to talk with Angel hadn't been such a great move.

Buffy knew that Faith and Angel had their own little bond these days - like an older brother doing his best to protect a wayward sister – but Buffy wasn't sure how Faith felt now about her history with the vampire. It had certainly been a bone of contention in the past. Angel had gotten in the way the first time Faith had arrived in Sunnydale, coming between her and Faith – though Buffy hadn't realised at the time - and Buffy couldn't help but begin to wish she'd just told Angel they could talk the following day.

She called out for the other slayer, walking towards the bathroom as she did so. Nobody was in there and Buffy rubbed at the back of her neck, tightening up as she noticed that the shower had recently been used. There was a wet towel on the floor, and beside that lay most of Faith's dirty clothes.

Breathing a small sigh of relief, Buffy left the bathroom, still confused as to where Faith was, but a little less worried that she might have decided to just take off. Surely she couldn't get very far without her pants.

Just as Buffy re-entered the bedroom area, the door opened and Faith walked in from the hall. She was wearing just her panties – a cute pair of boi shorts – and a small tee shirt. As well as making Buffy's stomach flutter as she allowed herself to enjoy Faith's barely clad body, it also reminded her that they would need to procure some new clothes the following day. They were basically starting from scratch after all.

"Where were you?" Buffy asked, instantly wanting to chastise herself for sounding so accusatory.

Faith closed the door and looked at Buffy, her eyes giving Buffy no clue as to how she was feeling as she answered.

"Went to see if any of the girls had some smokes," she replied. "They didn't."

She seemed agitated and Buffy suddenly felt awkward being alone in the same room as her. Faith's eyes were downcast as she came further into the room, a nervous hand running through her hair. Something was wrong, or off. Buffy could see tension running through Faith; tension and barely disguised anger.

"I thought you'd given that up," Buffy said, wondering if she should sit down or move closer to Faith, or jump out of the nearest window to escape this awkwardness.

"Yeah, well. . .guess we're all full of surprises," Faith countered, hearing the darkness to her own tone and wishing she hadn't allowed herself to feel so much for Buffy all over again.

"We are?" Buffy asked, frowning and wondering just what Faith was getting at.

Clearly something was wrong; Buffy didn't have to be a rocket scientist to pick up on that. For a moment she wondered if Faith knew what Angel had told her, but she seriously doubted he'd let Faith know about the cure to his curse before her. And if Faith had known about it she would have reacted to it earlier, not now, just after Buffy had found out.

"What's going on, Faith?" Buffy asked, wanting to cut to the chase before either of them went too far behind their walls and defences and started sniping at each other needlessly.

Faith shrugged and moved over to the window, her arms crossing her chest. She knew if she asked Buffy about Angel then Buffy would know she'd been snooping, but she couldn't just allow Buffy to trick her or play her for an idiot, no matter how much she loved her.

"You tell me," Faith murmured, her shoulders so tight Buffy could see the muscles twitching.

Buffy sighed and shook her head. They fell into this too easy; circling each other as enemies instead of standing side by side, instead of cutting through the bullshit to the truth. She knew Faith loved her, and she knew that she loved Faith – no matter how much of a struggle it had been to figure that out. They couldn't keep doing this.

"Can we. . .not do this?" Buffy asked, taking a chance and walking up behind Faith, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Talk to me."

To her surprise, Faith didn't shrink away or react negatively. She just stood looking out of the window to the street below, her jaw set and her eyes clouded with something akin to regret.

Though Faith did want to talk, and did want to find out just what Buffy intended to happen now that she was back to smooching on Angel, Faith couldn't ask. She didn't want to break Buffy's trust by telling her that she'd seen and heard them. She knew the love that Buffy shared with Angel and it wasn't her place to start questioning Buffy or becoming jealous or clingy. It didn't really matter that they'd talked recently about their feelings for one another, or that Buffy had made Faith come that morning. . .there was still something in the way. There was still Angel.

"Are you angry because I spoke with Angel?" Buffy asked tentatively, supposing that was the problem as Faith had been ok up until then.

"None of my business if you talk to him or not," Faith replied, hoping the emotion wasn't coming through in her voice. She hated that she felt this way; jealous, envious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy pressed, gripping Faith's shoulder tighter in order to encourage her to face her.

"What do ya want me to say, B?" Faith responded, anger evident even though she was doing her best to keep it in check.

"Tell me what's suddenly changed," Buffy asked. "We were ok, and now we're not and I have no idea. . ."

Rubbing at her brow, Buffy let her eyes rest on Faith as Faith reluctantly turned towards her. She could see the pain in her eyes and it made Buffy want to slump to the floor in exasperation. Would they never get this right?

"Did you hear what Angel asked me?" Buffy questioned, knowing there had to be some link.

If Faith had grown curious, or just tired of waiting for Buffy, and stumbled on her little chat with Angel then it would explain this shift in mood. But Buffy had turned Angel down. She'd chosen Faith over him, so didn't that count for anything?

When Faith refused to answer, Buffy knew she'd found the cause of this mood.

"You didn't stick around to hear what I told him, did you," Buffy guessed.

Faith just looked away, her defences doing their best to shut Buffy out, but she wasn't about to be deterred so easily. This was only a misunderstanding at best. Buffy had to convince Faith of that.

"What does it matter, B?" Faith said, shrugging and pulling away from Buffy, moving towards the bed. "I'm tired. Feel like I need to sleep for a week."

She didn't want Buffy telling her how she couldn't help but love Angel. How she couldn't help but want him even though she couldn't really have him. The last thing Faith needed was to know she'd lost out to him, again. There was no chance she'd let it ruin her this time, but it still hurt. Hopefully she'd feel better in the morning, or find herself numb and able to cope. She wouldn't run, or fight, or hate Buffy for being unable to love her fully; this thing between them had always been just out of their reach, and despite what had happened the last few days she knew it would always remain so.

"You can't just. . .go to sleep," Buffy complained, staring down at Faith as Faith slid under the covers of the bed.

"Why not?" Faith asked with a derisive chuckle. "That's what people do when they're tired."

She quickly yanked off her tee shirt and rolled over, feeling Buffy's gaze boring into her back. Knowing she had to remain as calm as possible, and as strong as possible, Faith pushed at the ache in her heart; wanting rid of it forever. This wasn't going to break her again. This wasn't all she had in her life, wasn't all she could hope for or feel. There was more to this existence than Buffy and she'd damn well do her best to remember that.

"But. . ." Buffy floundered, staring at Faith, not knowing what more to do or say.

Maybe Faith hadn't heard her talking to Angel after all, or maybe she'd only heard enough to make her fear the worst. Whatever the case, it seemed there would be no talking about it tonight; Faith had shut down.

Her shoulders sagging, Buffy felt the deep burn in her heart that only came from the slayer now tucked up in bed. It hurt, deep in her chest. It always hurt with Faith.

She decided not to press the issue for now and made her way to the bathroom. Once in there Buffy allowed tears to fall, though she tried to hold them in, not wanting to believe they'd let things slip through their hands once again. But no matter how she tried to hold herself together, she couldn't, and when she got under the warm spray of the shower Buffy felt her knees weaken. Sliding down the tiles until she was sitting uncomfortably in the tub, she cried not only for Faith, but for Spike, for Anya, for everyone they'd lost, for everything that now lay buried in the rubble of Sunnydale.

Her one silver lining was the fact her mother was there with them when she knew – somewhere deep inside – that she shouldn't have been. Still, it didn't make her feel much better and Buffy let her grief and frustration pour out until the water began to cool and the tiles became increasingly uncomfortable.

She could have stayed there all night, hair stuck to her face as tears slid down her cheeks. As her body began to shudder and her heart break once again, Buffy didn't notice that Faith had come into the bathroom until she spoke, asking Buffy if she was ok.

"I'm fine," Buffy lied, knowing it was more than obvious she wasn't.

Faith could see Buffy's shadow through the shower curtain, down at the bottom of the tub, water cascading over her, though there was no longer any steam. She knew the water would be cold by now, and knew Buffy wasn't fine at all.

As much as she wanted to just leave Buffy in peace she couldn't. She'd heard her sobs and felt tears prick at her own eyes in response as she imagined the pain Buffy was going through. Buffy had lost friends and people that had trusted and looked up to her, she'd had to deal with how Faith made her feel, and now. . .Angel. It had obviously all been too much, and even if Faith wanted to ignore the fact that Buffy was hurting, she knew she'd eventually go to her. Knew she couldn't just leave her there suffering, no matter how upset she felt herself.

Buffy snivelled, trying not to cry, but Faith continued to move into the bathroom. She stood by the tub, her hand poised to push open the shower curtain. A large part of Faith wished she could walk away, maybe go get Angel – as it was obvious that that's what Buffy would have preferred – but something stopped her from retreating.

She slid back the shower curtain and her heart broke. Buffy was a mess of tears and grime where she hadn't yet washed away the dirt of the battle. She looked small and fragile in a way that Faith had never seen her.

"Don't cry, B," was all Faith could whisper as she climbed in without permission, taking Buffy into her arms as she joined her sitting in the bottom of the large tub. "Come on."

Relenting to Faith's embrace, Buffy allowed her body to fall into her, burying her face in Faith's neck as strong arms wrapped around her. The tears flowed and she shivered against the cold tumble of water as it poured over them. There was nothing she could say or do if Faith had decided she didn't now want them to be together, but Buffy clung to this, to this intimacy, this moment when all she wanted to do was love Faith and have Faith love her back.

Faith rubbed a hand over Buffy's lower back, holding her tight against her as Buffy continued to sob. This was months of frustration, probably years of it, coming out. Years of keeping everything inside. Faith wasn't sure she was the one who should be holding Buffy through this right now, even as Buffy clung right back to her as if her life depended on it.

"Should I get Angel?" Faith asked, beginning to shiver herself now as the cold water penetrated her skin.

"No," Buffy replied easily, her teeth chattering. "I don't want Angel. I want you."

More sobs wracked Buffy's body and Faith felt her chest tighten and twist, tears forming in her own eyes. If only Buffy really meant that. If only she could believe it.

"Faith, please don't shut me out," Buffy pleaded, looking up into Faith's eyes, seeing tears there that made her fear for them both. "I chose you. I chose _you_."

Faith listened to Buffy's mumbles, letting the words sink into her heart in a way she'd vowed never to do.

"But I saw you kissin' Angel. I saw. . ."

Buffy shook her head, mad at herself for having done that. Mad at herself and at Faith for their conversation not being as private as it ought to have been.

"I shouldn't have done that. Please, believe me," Buffy began, taking Faith's face in her hands, "I don't want anybody else. I want this."

She leaned forward and brought their lips together, both of them sighing at the touch, pulling tight to each other. Feeling Faith tremble in her arms she realised they were both freezing cold now and had to get out from under the water.

"Will you let me explain?" Buffy asked softly as she pulled away just far enough to look in Faith's eyes.

Unsure if she was just a fool or not, Faith reluctantly nodded her head and helped Buffy to stand. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Buffy, leading her back into the bedroom in silence. Once Buffy was seated on the bed drying her hair, Faith grabbed another towel from the bathroom and ran it over her own hair, sitting beside Buffy as she tried her best not to jump to a million conclusions about what Buffy would say.

The silence stretched on and Faith wriggled out of her wet panties, secretly enjoying the way it made Buffy gaze at her longingly. They were both covered by their towels, but the atmosphere grew suddenly intimate and intense and Faith wished she could ignore it.

"If you and Angel. . ." Faith began, planning to let Buffy know she would cope with Buffy wanting to be with him much better this time around.

"There is no me and Angel," Buffy assured, turning to Faith on the bed, placing a hand on her thigh. "I don't know if you heard him telling me that they've taken away his curse. He can love. . .normally."

For a second Faith just blinked, unbelieving, but then she pulled away from Buffy, still expecting that Buffy would always love and want him more. She looked away from Buffy, down at the floor as her heart sank.

"Listen to me, Faith," Buffy insisted, tears forming in her eyes again. "I told him I couldn't be with him the way he wanted."

Glancing back at Buffy, Faith frowned, not certain if she could believe that Buffy would turn him down when Angel had always been the love of her life, the one she would give anything for.

"Why?" Faith heard herself ask.

"Because of you," Buffy declared.

Faith wasn't sure she was ready for this. Any of this.

She wanted, needed, Buffy more than she could even fully admit to herself. There'd been a time she would have run around the place right now declaring victory before pouncing on Buffy and making her scream her name all night in testament to what they shared, but. . .this was huge.

"You turned him down for me?" Faith questioned, not thinking she was worthy. "Why would you do that?"

For a moment Buffy was puzzled. Wasn't this what they both wanted? She'd been sure that Faith would be happy about this. Maybe she'd missed something, or maybe Faith was just a little scared; choosing her over Angel meant this was as serious as they could get. It meant that they'd have to really work at things together. Be everything they could be for one another.

"Why?" Buffy repeated, a slight chuckle escaping her as Faith looked at her in complete confusion. "Because I love you."

All the air left Faith's lungs and it felt like her stomach was about to fly out of her mouth. Buffy had chosen her over Angel. Buffy loved her.

"I love you, Faith," Buffy said again, moving closer on the bed so she could take Faith's hands in hers. "Despite, or because of all the things we've been through and done to each other, it's you that I want to be with."

Faith's mouth fell open but nothing came out. Surely she was dreaming, or something; Buffy did not just admit that she loved her.

"Say something?" Buffy pressed, biting on her bottom lip as she waited for some kind of reaction. If Faith was about to tell her she wasn't interested she'd have to kick her, then kick herself. "I'm sorry if I. . ."

"Stop talking now," Faith instructed, moving her hand up to cup Buffy's face. She didn't want anything else to be said, to detract from what Buffy had just told her. Whether it was a dream or not, she was quite happy right now to let those words sink in.

Before Buffy could say anything more, Faith leaned in and captured her mouth with her own, kissing her hard.

This was everything she'd ever wanted from Buffy; honesty, trust, friendship, love.

Everything and so much more.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Just over an hour after Buffy had told Faith she loved her, and that she'd chosen her instead of Angel, they were climbing under the sheets on the large bed in their room. Faith was at a loss for words for the most part and had been happy when Buffy slipped next door to Willow's room to see if they still had hot water so she could shower properly.

She was back now, clean and fresh, eyes sparkling at Faith every time they glanced at each other. It was like some cheesy movie, but Faith didn't mind. She liked that Buffy couldn't hide her small smile. Couldn't hide the way she felt. They were both an open book now and they greedily wanted to read every single page.

"Mmm, comfy," Buffy said with a contented sigh as she settled down into the pillows with Faith next to her.

"Best bed ever," Faith agreed.

Faith stretched her tired limbs, feeling the tightness a good day's battle will give you. It was a nice feeling for a slayer. Something to be proud of.

"How's your side?" she asked turning towards Buffy, wanting to reach out and pull her closer but holding back until she was sure Buffy wanted to be closer.

"A little sore, but I was always a fast healer," Buffy replied, yawning as she also turned so she could see Faith more easily. "You did awesome today," she continued, reaching up and pushing dark hair behind Faith's ear, letting her hand linger.

A small smile drifted over Faith's lips.

"I'd tell you that you were even more awesome, but that'd get seriously corny and kinda embarrassing for both of us, so. . .just know that you fucking rock," Faith said with a grin as she plucked Buffy's hand from her face and pushed it under the covers so Buffy could rest it on Faith's hip.

"Yeah, we don't wanna get all corny," Buffy agreed. "We're too cool for corny."

"Well I know I am but I can't speak for you," Faith jested. "You're pretty much a dork most of the time."

With mock indignation Buffy pinched at Faith's side, earning a rather girly squeal that made her smile widely at her new lover.

"And you're adorable," Buffy pointed out, shuffling closer to Faith and basking in the warmth and the scent of her.

Faith scowled and licked her lips as if she were sizing up her prey.

"You did not just call me adorable, blondie," Faith chastised, shaking her head. "You're gonna pay for that."

Before Buffy could react, her tired body begging for sleep, she found herself pinned under a very naked slayer.

"I should call you adorable more often," Buffy noted, looking up into Faith's brown eyes as they all but devoured her.

Buffy was naked herself, having decided not to put back on the gross underwear she'd had to leave on the bathroom floor. It had been a very good decision, even though Faith's curves hovered just out of touching distance of her own.

"Probably not a great idea," Faith warned, giving her a little snarl and quickly leaning down to nip at Buffy's neck.

She lingered there, scraping her teeth lightly over Buffy's neck and then flicking her tongue out to counter the sensation. It made Buffy squirm underneath Faith and she felt herself growing damp with need. As tired as she was, Faith couldn't help but react to Buffy.

"I have to disagree," Buffy said with a moan as Faith sucked on her neck hard enough to leave a mark – on anything other than slayer skin of course.

She ran her hands up Faith's back, her short fingernails causing Faith to groan and grip the pillow hard by Buffy's head where she rested her hands. This really probably wasn't the time to start anything; they were both worn out, both emotionally depleted and unsure about what tomorrow would bring, but. . .there was lots of naked skin, and hot breaths, and the inevitability of post-slayage needs.

"I should let you sleep," Faith said huskily, kissing her way up Buffy's throat to her jaw, moving closer to her mouth.

"Sleep is for the weak," Buffy mumbled, trying to pull Faith down to her so she could feel her all over.

"Dork," Faith muttered with a grin as she reached Buffy's lips, kissing her way over them softly before pressing harder against them, still holding herself over Buffy so they weren't quite touching.

She could feel Buffy trying to bring them together, but once they were Faith knew there would be no stopping, and after a day like they'd just had she needed to be certain there would be no regrets.

"Dork lover," Buffy countered, grinning now herself as she tangled her fingers into Faith's hair and kissed Faith with as much need as she could convey.

They lost themselves in each other's mouths, kissing deep and slow, tongues sliding and teeth clashing as the desires within them took over. They explored and revelled and Faith learned quickly that Buffy turned to complete mush when she dipped into her mouth again and again as if fucking it with her tongue. She could sense Buffy's desperate need to feel all of her and Faith was done fighting the hands grabbing at her trying to pull her down. She relented, falling onto Buffy as they both groaned and their thighs slipped between each other's legs, greeting wet heat with strong muscle.

Continuing to kiss as if the world was still doomed to come to an end any minute, they wrapped arms around each other to bring them even closer. Faith sighed into Buffy's mouth as their breasts slid together, as their arousal coated each other in a wanton display of desperation as they moved in a rhythm neither of them had the power now to stop.

"You feel so good," Buffy mumbled against Faith's lips.

She'd never imagined that being with a girl could feel this amazing. The silky skin, curves, slight hints of hardened muscle that wasn't hairy or overbearing; Buffy couldn't get enough. As Faith's stomach pressed against her own she swooned, as her breasts practically devoured Buffy's with their delicious softness topped with hardened nipples she sighed, as Faith's wet centre slicked over her thigh she let go of any doubts she'd ever had about giving herself completely to Faith.

This was everything she wanted.

Pulling Faith harder against her, Buffy spread her hands over Faith's lower back, lifting her thigh a little higher so Faith could grind more easily against it. Faith sighed Buffy's name into her neck and pushed her own thigh tighter into Buffy between her legs, causing Buffy to rub up against it as if her life depended on it.

Buffy could already feel herself approaching orgasm, the pressure on her clit from Faith's hard muscle making her moan louder every time they moved in unison. She was more ready than she'd thought possible and was a little embarrassed, but Faith didn't seem to be far behind as she ground into Buffy's thigh, her breath coming quick, hands gripping Buffy tightly.

"Faith," Buffy said, practically just a sigh on her lips as she took Faith's face in her hands so she could look into her eyes.

What she saw there when Faith lifted her head to look down at her made Buffy's heart thunder inside her chest. Faith's eyes were almost black as the night, her lids heavy and mouth parted; lips full and kiss swollen. Buffy couldn't help but nip at those lips, taking the bottom one between her own and sucking lightly. When she let go, kissing it before speaking, Buffy tried her best to focus on Faith's eyes.

"Faith, slow down," she implored, shuddering as Faith pressed hard against her with her thigh.

"Can't," Faith groaned, swiping at Buffy's lips with her tongue as she grew even wetter against Buffy's skin.

Her hips rolled into Buffy, every motion causing her clit to twitch, to clash against Buffy in a way that had Faith losing herself to the delicious tug of release. But something cut through the thick haze of lust and drove to her heart; Buffy wanted her to slow down, to take her time. As much as she just wanted them both to come, she understood Buffy's request. She understood what it meant, what this meant. It wasn't just sex, it was something more. Something that came from deeper inside them both.

Slowing her movements just a little, Faith gazed into Buffy's eyes, finding herself captured in the sea of green that swirled within them; greener than she'd ever seen Buffy's eyes before.

She kissed Buffy and moved her leg away from her wet centre just enough for Buffy to protest weakly. Smiling down at Buffy, Faith spoke softly to her, her voice thick with lust as she began to move them to a more upright position.

"Don't worry. . .not going anywhere," Faith assured. "Need you on my pussy."

Her words almost made Buffy blush, though given the circumstances, and the memory of that morning still humming around her head, it was a little silly. Allowing Faith to manoeuvre her where she needed, Buffy almost melted into a puddle right off the bed as she felt the sudden wetness of Faith's sex against her own.

They were partially sitting upright now and Faith had one leg over Buffy's and one leg between, bringing them together in a rather. . .scissor-like effect. It made Buffy blush for sure as she looked down between them both, as she felt Faith's arousal spreading over her right where she needed her to be. With a small wriggle Buffy was able to get as much contact as she could with Faith and she sighed in unadulterated bliss as Faith began to move against her, hips undulating so they were rubbing against each other in the best way possible.

"Oh god," Buffy gasped, clinging to Faith's shoulders as Faith's hands held tightly to her hips, pulling Buffy against her harder and harder.

She threw her head back, savouring the feel of Faith's clit bumping against her own. Finding it difficult to breathe as her senses were assaulted by the scent of sex and the sound of dripping pussies meeting with a wet smack.

"Jesus, Buffy," Faith moaned, quickening their pace as she felt Buffy beginning to tense and tremble against her. "Don't stop!"

One of Faith's hands slid up Buffy's stomach, gliding over her ribs to her breast where she fondled and tugged at Buffy's nipple, at first gently, then harder as Buffy found herself drowning in sensation. Moaning deeply, Buffy bit on her lower lip in order not to make quite so much noise, but it was useless, she couldn't hold it in and Faith's name slipped out of her mouth in a wanton cry as she came hard against Faith's pussy.

Shuddering into Faith, clawing at her shoulders, Buffy didn't stop, almost screaming out as she came again as soon as Faith jerked against her in the grip of her own orgasm.

"Fuck!" Faith panted, over and over as her come poured over Buffy's swollen sex, soaking them both.

They both took gasping breaths and sought out one another's lips, kissing messily and loudly as they fell back to the bed, Faith on top of Buffy in a tangle of limbs and sheets. Tongues flicked and hands slid over each other, their desire for one another far from quenched as Buffy pulled Faith against her, wrapping her legs over Faith's hips and moaning into her mouth.

She'd never felt need like this. Never wanted somebody to devour her as she did the same until neither could speak or think or talk. Until neither of them had the energy to move, because if they did have the energy then they would have continued fucking, making love, pleasuring each other into oblivion.

It wasn't until hours later when Faith pulled her fingers from Buffy for the last time that night that they both felt done.

Faith had just spent the better part of forty minutes with her fingers buried inside Buffy, fucking her slowly, filling her, making her come again and again until she'd quickened her pace beyond what any normal human could do, making Buffy scream out her name as Faith came almost as loudly against her thigh.

Buffy was stiff and sore now, but completely content. This was how to properly celebrate saving the world.

"Ugh, I don't think I can move anymore," Buffy grunted, lying in the middle of the bed with her arms and legs spread out in complete submission.

She'd been tired before, now she was beyond exhausted. Totally fucked.

"Tell me about it," Faith agreed, slumping on the bed, half of her covering Buffy as she tried to tug ineffectively at the sheet to pull over them both. "If I wasn't a slayer I think I'd be dead right about now."

"Nice way to go, though," Buffy said with a grin, leaning down just a little to help Faith with the sheet.

They were both slick with sweat and covered in each other's fluids, and the early morning air was making them both feel a little chilly now that the heat between them had died down. Not that Buffy would complain about being sticky and wet all over – it had been quite the night of firsts. And quite a night to remember.

"Hell yeah," Faith drawled, closing her eyes as she draped an arm and a leg over Buffy, feeling Buffy move closer into her as she tucked the sheet around them. "You can fuck me to death any night of the week."

"Any night?" Buffy asked, wondering if Faith quite understood the implications of such an idea.

After all, if they were to begin a relationship together then that would definitely help facilitate the possibility of nightly fucking – which could only be a good thing in Buffy's eyes. She wasn't certain Faith would want something that full on so soon, though. They still needed to work out the logistics.

Opening her eyes and looking into Buffy's, Faith didn't miss the little inflection in Buffy's tone that meant she was hoping for an answer to her unspoken question. There was suddenly an awkwardness in the air. Now that they'd broken down their barriers physically, all that was left were the ones around their hearts, and neither of them was particularly good at this kind of thing, Faith especially.

"Any night," Faith answered softly. "Every night."

She leaned down and kissed Buffy so gently Buffy felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. Pressing her palm up against Faith's heart she felt it pounding in a rhythm similar to her own. She felt the promise on Faith's lips and the hope they both needed to believe in.

"I fucking love you, B," Faith whispered against Buffy's lips, making Buffy's heart clench as she allowed herself to know it was the truth. "Even if you kick me to the curb, that's not gonna change."

Taking Faith's face between her hands, Buffy smiled up at her.

"I'm not kicking you anywhere, not when you can do what you just did to me," Buffy responded with a chuckle. "I'd like to keep you with me, if that's ok."

Faith chuckled along with Buffy, knowing she didn't want to be anywhere but with Buffy for as long as she could. Fighting by her side had felt right. Being in her bed had felt right. Finally her heart felt at peace.

"Sounds good to me," she replied, giving Buffy one last kiss before collapsing down beside her. "As long as you can keep up."

She gave Buffy's ass a squeeze and knew she'd understand.

"Oh, I'll keep up," Buffy assured with a grin, turning into Faith's arms and snuggling as close as possible. "I'll be happy to."

They were both smiling wide as sleep began to claim them, their arms and legs entwined as they held each other close. Just before Faith drifted off she heard Buffy whisper her love for her and she pressed a kiss to her shoulder, too far gone now to even speak. She knew she didn't need to, Buffy knew. They both knew.

Of course, when they awoke late the next morning, stretching lazily, stiff muscles protesting every movement as they made their way downstairs to the kitchen in new clothes that somebody had left outside the door, they soon realised that everybody else now also knew.

They'd apparently completely failed at keeping their inability to stop fucking quiet, and judging by the profuse blushes and giggles they received as they entered the dining room attached to the kitchen. . .any hope of keeping this new relationship under wraps was long gone. Buffy tried not to feel mortified but she couldn't help it. Even her mother couldn't look her in the eye and she had the distinct urge to crawl away and turn invisible, for at least the rest of the day.

But Faith had no such qualms. She could sense how uncomfortable Buffy felt so she decided the best way to deal with it was to act as if they had no reason to feel embarrassed at all, which they didn't really; they'd only been doing what all people in love do when they've just saved the world and discovered that they wanted to spend the rest of forever eating each other out every night. It was no big deal for Faith.

"How about somebody gets us some breakfast," she said easily, slipping her arm around Buffy as they walked towards the table in the middle of the small room.

She gave Kennedy a nod and Kennedy instructed a few of the younger girls to join her in the kitchen to help prepare another breakfast. She'd thank Kennedy later for that. Right now she was occupied with keeping her head held high for both her and Buffy.

"So is everybody just gonna stare at us for the rest of the day?" Faith asked.

Willow cleared her throat and Giles grabbed at his glasses, but it was Joyce's glare that almost had Faith opting to take Buffy's hand and get the hell out of there, only coming back when they'd all put their judgments aside and wrapped their heads around Buffy ever wanting to have anything to do with Faith in such an intimate way. Deciding almost right away that they'd probably be waiting forever for that, Faith thought it best just to cope with the stares and the glares.

Hopefully they wouldn't cause Buffy to backtrack or second-guess what had just begun between them. The last thing they needed was heavy handed friends and relatives putting things in their heads that no longer needed to be there; barriers that had taken long enough to pull down.

After what felt like a lifetime of uncomfortable silence as both Faith and Buffy sat down, awaiting nourishment, Joyce finally spoke from her seated position at the other end of the table– seemingly for all of them if the nods and small smiles were anything to go by.

"I'll be honest, it was just a little surprising," Joyce said, clutching her hands together on the table. "And there are just some things a parent isn't meant to hear, but you're old enough to know what's best for you, Buffy. And though I might not understand it right now, I'm just happy that you seem. . .happy. At least you certainly sounded happy last night."

Buffy blushed profusely and slapped a hand over her eyes, as if hiding them would make everybody go away.

"Yes, well, after the couple of months we've had I don't think anybody could begrudge you a little. . ." Giles began, searching for words he'd rather not say out loud.

Buffy got the message anyway and slipped her hand from her face just enough to say thank you, almost too quietly to hear. She had to attempt to find some dignity in this. It wasn't as if being in love was a crime, even though none of them probably expected her to feel that way about Faith. She wished they hadn't heard them going at it all night, but now that they had. . .well, there was really no point in shrinking away from it, or from the questions they no doubt all had. Like ripping off a band-aid it was probably best just to get this over with now.

"I'm sorry you all heard," Buffy said quietly, glancing up at her friends and family, and noticing that some of the new slayers were slinking out of the room, obviously feeling this wasn't for their ears. "We just. . ."

She looked over at Faith, seeing nothing but trust in Faith's eyes despite everything they'd ever done to each other. If she were to deny what they felt for each other right now, in front of everybody she cared about, she knew she'd never see or hear from Faith again. That would be the end. Just the thought of that happening made her stomach twist in knots. She couldn't lose her, so she had to be brave and honest.

"I love Faith," Buffy said, smiling at Faith even though she hadn't meant to. "I love her."

Looking from Giles to Joyce and Dawn, from Willow to Xander, to Angel as he stood in the doorway with a sad smile on his lips, she waited for them to scoff or sigh. She waited for one of them, any of them to dare to tell her she was wrong, or crazy, or making a mistake. But none of them had harsh words, only love and acceptance.

As she took Faith's hand in her own her friends gave her hugs and her mother kissed her on the forehead. Dawn made a face but she too at least had a nod of approval for her sister, and pretty soon Buffy and Faith were alone in the dining room with breakfast before them and nothing but eyes for each other.

It wouldn't be an easy road they'd take together and they didn't know what the future held, but they had each other. This time, they'd make it work.

"Love you too," Faith said with a satisfied grin as she pulled Buffy onto her lap.

"Take me back to bed and show me," Buffy responded, a glint in her eye that made Faith's pulse race. "Show me the future."

The End


End file.
